


Slow Burn

by robinwritesallthethings



Category: The Accidental Husband (2008)
Genre: Break Up, Drinking, F/M, Fire, Illnesses, Infidelity, Injury, Language, Loss of Virginity, Romance, Self-Insert, Series, Vaginal Sex, Vandalism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-01-29 17:45:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 26,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12636042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robinwritesallthethings/pseuds/robinwritesallthethings
Summary: For six years, all Robin Ballard has thought about is owning a successful bakery. Now that she’s achieved her dream, she turns her attention to other areas of her life. Meeting Patrick Sullivan makes her realize how lonely she is, but when her love for him is unrequited, what will she do?





	1. Never in Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin meets Patrick.

**Robin**

My face hurts from smiling constantly for the last few hours. Everything is flying off the shelves, and I couldn’t be happier.

I’ve wanted my own bakery ever since I was a kid. Even in high school, I was already planning how to get it. Once I graduated, I threw all of my energy into achieving my dream.

For the past six years, I’ve thought about nothing else. I’ve never dated, I’ve never gone on a vacation; I barely even have friends. Most people told me that it wasn’t worth it, that I was still young and had plenty of time to think about owning a business later in my life.

But I didn’t give up, and now it’s finally paid off.

I send Bonnie on a much-needed break once there’s a lull, leaning against the counter and sighing in relief.

My worst fear was that I would open the doors and no one would come. I’m very glad to have proven myself wrong.

The bell over the door chimes as another customer enters, and I turn on my smile again, despite how much my cheeks ache.

“Welcome to Ballard’s Bakery!” I greet him brightly. “What can I get for you?”

“I don’t know. What’s good?” He grins at me.

“Well, I’m inclined to say everything, but I made it all, so I might be biased.” Normally I wouldn’t brag, but I’m in a good mood.

He laughs. “You made all of this?” he clarifies, gesturing at the display cases.

“Fresh this morning,” I confirm. “Would you like to try some samples?”

“I never turn down free baked goods,” he jokes, licking his lips and running his hand over the back of his neck.

I grab my sample tray and set it in front of him. Everything is cut neatly and speared on toothpicks. I pick one up and hand it to him. “Lemon poppy seed muffin.”

His eyes light up as he sticks the toothpick in his mouth. “Oh, wow. That’s amazing.”

I beam at him happily and hold up another toothpick. “Croissant with cinnamon butter.”

“Oh, wow. That’s…” He pauses. “I already said amazing, didn’t I?” he asks.

I giggle and nod. “You did, but I won’t complain if you say it again.” I select a third sample. “Black Forest cake. One of my personal favorites.”

His eyes almost roll back into his head as he tastes it. “Amazing?” I tease.

“Definitely. How’s a guy supposed to choose?”

“You could just buy it all,” I suggest cheekily.

“Hm,” he muses. “Maybe not all of it, but a decent amount. It’s my turn to bring something to the firehouse.”

“Oh, are you a fireman?”

He pulls his jacket aside to show me the FDNY logo on his t-shirt. “Yup.”

“Well, thank you for everything you do,” I tell him sincerely. “As someone who works in a kitchen on a daily basis, I appreciate it.”

He chuckles. “Well, I’ll be coming back, definitely, but I hope it’s not to put out a fire.”

“I hope so too!” I reply. “Does that mean you know what you want, then?”

“Assorted muffins, I think,” he decides. “That should go over well with everyone.”

I get some boxes out, carefully setting the muffins in them so they’ll be perfect when they get to the firehouse. He browses while I work, coming back to the register as I ring up his purchase.

When I tell him the total, he frowns curiously and glances at the board of prices above my head. “That’s not enough,” he points out.

“Fireman discount,” I inform him lightly.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“You’re right. I don’t. I want to, though. Please accept it.”

“All right. Thank you. You’re very kind.” He pauses. “I’m Patrick, by the way. Patrick Sullivan. It’s nice to meet you.”

He extends his hand and I shake it. “Robin Ballard, Patrick. It’s nice to meet you too.”

****

By the end of the day, I’m exhausted, but in a good way. I haven’t done all the math yet, but I think I exceeded my wildest expectations for my first day being open.

I look up as the bell chimes for what feels like the millionth time.

I still get butterflies in my stomach each time I hear it.

“Patrick!” I exclaim, surprised to see him again so soon. “Hi!”

“Hi, Robin.” He gives me a little wave and makes his way over to me, setting a bag down on the counter. “I brought you something,” he adds.

“Brought me something?” I repeat. “Why?”

“Well, you were nice to me earlier, so I thought I would be nice back. I’m betting you’re hungry?”

My stomach growls, succinctly answering his question. I raise my eyebrows sheepishly, smoothing several loose strands of hair out of my face. “Yes, obviously. I was going to grab something after I closed.”

“Now you don’t have to,” Patrick responds bashfully, smiling at me sweetly.

I peek in the bag. Inside, there’s a club sandwich, a dill pickle, and homemade potato chips. “Thank you, Patrick. This is lovely.”

“You’re welcome. Everyone loved your muffins, by the way. I told them all about this place, so I think you’ll be getting some more business soon.”

“I appreciate that very much, Patrick.”

“It’s no problem at all,” he assures me. “Just telling the truth. Anyway, I should get out of your hair and let you finish.”

He stops and looks back at me as he pushes the door open. “I’ll see you later, okay, Robin?”

“I’m looking forward to it, Patrick.”

He disappears into the night. For a moment, I just stare at the bag he brought.

It’s been a long time since someone’s done anything for me. A sandwich seems small, I know, but it means a lot.

I lock up and eat while I do paperwork.

As I finish my last bite, I can’t help but wonder if I really will see Patrick Sullivan again.


	2. Never Had the Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin realizes that she loves Patrick.

**Robin**

I do see Patrick again. He comes into the bakery the next morning to get breakfast for himself. I’m too busy to talk, but he makes sure to say hello and promises to return later.

And he does. That night, he arrives right before closing, this time with dinner for both of us.

We sit and talk. Patrick wants to know when I knew I wanted to be a baker and why, and he tells me the same about being a fireman. After that, he asks most of the questions, excitedly wondering what my favorite books, movies, television shows, and sports are, among many other things.

We end up having a lot in common, and his enthusiasm is infectious. For whatever reason, I’m completely comfortable with Patrick, even though I usually have a hard time relaxing around people. I find myself telling him deeply personal things that I don’t normally share with anyone. He listens kindly and shares right back.

It’s been so long since I had a friend that I’d forgotten how nice it was to have someone to confide in.

He shows up every morning and night without fail. We talk and eat. I start testing new recipes while he’s around so he can taste them for me.

He puts his arm around me and lets me rest my head on his shoulder whenever we sit next to each other. I quickly learn that he’s very affectionate and enjoys being touched. I like running my fingers through his hair during our conversations.

He always gives me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek before he leaves.

When I reveal that I don’t usually go out and do anything because I’m so focused on work, he starts taking me places.

We go to the movies, to museums, to the Central Park Zoo. We eat out at all of his favorite restaurants. He takes me to the firehouse and shows me around, and even gives me a ride on the truck. We go to the bar and play pool with his buddies, and he’s immensely pleased when I beat every one of them.

My favorite thing, though, is watching him play soccer. I was never much for sports, but he’s so passionate about it that it’s impossible not to have a good time at his games.

I go to every single one, and I always bring treats for his team.

I’ve known Patrick for almost a month when Bonnie finally ambushes me.

“So when are you making it official?”

“Making what official?” I tie my apron on as I glance at my to do list for the evening.

“You and Patrick. You’re dating, aren’t you?”

I laugh. “We’re not dating, Bonnie. We’re just friends.”

“Right.” She rolls her eyes playfully. “Like anybody’s buying that. He’s here all the time, and you’re always going out with him.”

“We’re not dating,” I repeat. “He has a girlfriend. Her name is Naomi.”

Bonnie blinks. “Wait, really?”

“Really.”

“Um, what kind of girlfriend puts up with her boyfriend spending all of his time with another woman?”

“It’s not all of his time. He spends time with her and he spends time with me.”

Bonnie shakes her head incredulously. “Whatever. Let’s put that aside for the moment. You like Patrick, right? You have to.”

“Of course I like him, Bonnie, just not the way you mean.”

“Why not?” she protests. “You’re perfect for each other!”

“Just because two people get along doesn’t mean they should be together romantically, Bonnie,” I point out. Bonnie’s the closest thing I have to a friend besides Patrick and I love her to death, but she likes to meddle.

“It’s more than getting along, though, Robin,” she continues seriously. “You said that you’re more comfortable around him than you’ve ever been around anyone, and that you’ve never felt that way before. You can tell him anything. You like the same things. You’re moody when you don’t get to see him. Plus he’s sweet and funny and so, so handsome.”

“Lots of people are handsome,” I shrug reflectively, my brow furrowing. Is Patrick particularly handsome? I’ve gotten so used to not thinking about people in a sexual way that I hadn’t even noticed.

Bonnie clams up as Patrick breezes through the door, grinning at me broadly. “Hey, Patrick. I’m gonna go, okay, boss? Just think about what I said.”

My cheeks color a bit as she heads out through the back and Patrick sits at the counter in front of me. “So what are you thinking about?” he inquires.

“Nothing important,” I assure him, looking up and studying his face.

I realize that Bonnie is right. Patrick is indeed very handsome.

His hair is brown and just a little too long, but it suits him. He’s generally clean-shaven, but he has a little stubble right now because it’s the end of the day. When he smiles at me, his hazel eyes sparkle and his dimples appear.

“Are you sure?” he persists, reaching for my hand and rubbing my knuckles with his thumb. “You’re being quieter than usual.”

“Sorry,” I apologize, quickly changing the subject. “I thought you had a date.”

He shrugs. “Naomi had to take an extra shift, so I figured I’d drop by now so I can go see her later.”

“That’s sweet of you,” I remark casually.

After that, we talk just like we normally would, but I can’t keep everything Bonnie said from weighing on my mind.

When he kisses my cheek and hugs me goodbye, it feels different somehow.

I lay in bed awake that night, worrying my lower lip with my teeth.

The more I think about it, the more I think that Bonnie is right.

Patrick and I are perfect for each other, and I’m in love with him.

The problem is that I can’t tell him that now. He’s in a relationship, and I could never put him in an awkward position by sticking my feelings into the middle of it.

I’ll just have to see what happens.

****

Weeks pass. I haven’t mentioned anything to Bonnie or Patrick. Patrick and Naomi are still dating, and there’s no indication that it’s not going well.

All I want is for him to be happy, so I vow to keep my mouth firmly shut.

Then, one night, he comes by for his usual visit, and it’s obvious that something is wrong. His eyes are rimmed with red and he’s sniffling.

The bakery is empty, so I come around the counter immediately and pull him into my arms. “Patrick, what happened?” I murmur, rubbing his back soothingly.

“Naomi broke up with me,” he mumbles, holding me tight as he starts to cry.

Suddenly, my heart is in my throat. But I bite my tongue and just whisper in his ear comfortingly, telling him that everything will be all right.

I hadn’t realized they were that serious, but he goes on and on about how he doesn’t understand what went wrong. He thought they were in love.

Finally, I tell him what I think he needs to hear.

“Patrick, if she can’t see how wonderful you are, she doesn’t deserve you.”

He snuggles closer to me on the couch in my office. “You’re right, Robin,” he admits. “But it still hurts.”

“I know it does, Patrick. I’m sorry.”

He falls asleep as I stroke his hair.

I want to tell him that I see how wonderful he is. That I could love him like he deserves.

But I can’t, not when he’s so devastated over her. Obviously, he’s an all-in kind of guy, and it will take him some time to get over this.

For now, I’ll wait to bring up my feelings when the time is right.

****

More weeks pass. Patrick finally seems to be feeling better. For his visit that night, I make two little red velvet cakes in the shape of hearts. Red velvet is Patrick’s favorite.

I have no idea how he’s going to react when I tell him I love him. Part of me is scared. He’s my best friend, and I don’t want to lose him.

But I’ll never know if I don’t tell him the truth, right? I’ll always wonder if we could be more than what we already are.

So I have to try.

When he comes in, he’s beaming. I’ve got the cakes sitting on the counter, and I’m still trying to figure out exactly what I’m going to say, so I stall.

“Hi, Patrick. What are you smiling about?”

He sits down in front of me. “I have a date,” he announces.

My stomach falls into my feet.

“Her name is Ann.” He pauses and sighs. “I think she might be the one, Robin.”

“That’s great, Patrick,” I force myself to reply.

“What are these?” He gestures to the cakes and my brain trips over itself coming up with an explanation.

“Just a special I thought I might do for Valentine’s Day. Couple Cakes or something like that. Go ahead. Try one.”

He does, raving about how good it is. “These are great,” he announces. “You should definitely do this. Sign me up for two. Will you do different flavors? I’ll have to find out what Ann likes.”

“Different flavors are a good idea,” I agree.

He talks about her for the rest of the night.

My heart has never hurt so much, but what am I supposed to do?


	3. Waking Up Lonely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin tries again.

**Robin**

Five years pass.

Patrick and Ann break up after a few months of dating, but by the time I think Patrick is ready to hear that I love him again, he’s started dating Caroline.

Then Harper.

Then Taylor.

Then Faith.

I finally give up.

It’s not that I stop loving Patrick. I love him more each day.

But I watch him fall in love over and over again, and I can see the pattern. He falls instantly, and he falls hard.

If he loved me, he would have known right away.

I try to let go. I really, really do. But it’s not that easy.

Every time a woman breaks up with him, he comes to me. He’s always the one who gets broken up with; he’s never ended a relationship on his own. He cries on my shoulder and tells me everything as he tries to figure out what went wrong.

I always give him whatever he needs. And eventually, he feels better and goes out and tries again.

It’s not that he ignores me once he finds a new girlfriend. He always makes time for me. He’s come faithfully to the bakery every morning and night since we met, even if he can only stay for a few minutes. We go out at least once every week, usually more. I still attend every single one of his soccer games.

He’s the best friend anyone could ask for, and I’m lucky to have him.

In my bitterest moments, though, I just want to grab him by the shoulders and yell. I want to beg him to see me standing right in front of him. I want him to understand that I think he’s perfect and that I hate to see him hurt. I want him to realize that I’m the one who’s been here every day for five years, when all the women he dates do is pull away and break his heart.

I’ve still never gone out with anyone, and I’ve been asked out a lot since my business took off. Customers ask me out all the time. When I signed a deal with a nearby farmer’s market to start a line of local organic baked goods, four of the stall owners asked me out. A famous chef even begged to take me out when I partnered with him to start providing desserts to his restaurants.

I said no to all of them, because I know that I will never want anyone who’s not Patrick.

But he seems to want everyone but me.

I’m starting to bend under the weight of the secret.

Bonnie notices. One night, she stays late to help me with a few extra tasks. Patrick is on a date, so we’re alone. After about thirty minutes of awkward silence, she reaches out and touches my shoulder.

“Robin, you have to say something to him. This is killing you. I can tell.”

I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter, Bonnie,” I murmur. “He doesn’t love me. I know he doesn’t. There’s no point in making him say it to my face.”

“I think he does love you,” Bonnie protests. “He just doesn’t realize it, and you’ve never made him consider the possibility. If you just forced him to think about it…”

“I’d lose him, Bonnie,” I retort quietly. “I can’t risk that.”

“So you’re what? Just going to be miserable forever? You have to say something to him or move on, and I know you’re not going to move on.”

She’s right, so I don’t say anything in response.

“You know what you need?” Bonnie muses. “Advice. There’s this great radio show I listen to; you should call in.”

Before I can say no, she’s already grabbed her cell phone so she can dial the number. “Bonnie, please. I don’t need some self-proclaimed guru to tell me what to do. I know what I should do. I just won’t do it.”

“Exactly. You need a push from someone who won’t back down so easily.” She waits for a moment, holding the phone to her ear. “Oh my gosh!” she squeals shortly. “It’s ringing!” She hits the speaker button and sets the phone on the counter.

Of course she got through. I clearly have no luck at all.

I could walk away, but she means well, so I don’t.

“Hello, caller! This is _Real Love_ , and I’m Dr. Emma Lloyd. You are?”

“Oh, wow! I can’t believe we got through. We are Bonnie and Robin from Astoria. I’m Bonnie, Dr. Lloyd; I’m a huge fan.”

“Well, it’s lovely to talk to you, Bonnie. What can I do for you this evening?”

“Well, it’s not me. It’s my boss, Robin. You see, there’s this guy she’s in love with, but she’s too afraid to tell him.”

“Well, Robin, why don’t you tell me why you’re afraid?” Dr. Lloyd asks kindly.

I gulp. “I’m sorry to bother you, Dr. Lloyd. I don’t need…”

She cuts me off. “Nonsense. What’s the problem?”

Well, Bonnie was right about her not backing down.

I rub the back of my neck as I answer. “He doesn’t love me,” I admit softly. I didn’t realize how hard it would be to say the actual words. “He’s not a shy man, Dr. Lloyd. If he likes someone, he asks them out. He’s not afraid to put himself out there. We’ve known each other for five years. If he wanted me, he would have said so by now.”

“But your feelings are different?” she clarifies.

“Very different, yes.”

“Have you tried just telling him how you feel, Robin?”

“I tried several times,” I explain honestly. “But I was always too late. I didn’t want to tell him right after someone had broken up with him, and by the time I thought he was ready, he had already moved on.”

“So you just gave up?”

Tears well up in my eyes and threaten to fall down my cheeks. I take a deep breath and sigh as Bonnie comes over to hug me.

“Yes, Dr. Lloyd. I gave up.”

“Listen to me, Robin,” Dr. Lloyd orders decisively. “If you’re ever going to be happy, you have to tell him the truth. Even if you just want to keep the friendship, you can’t if you’re keeping a secret like this. And you need to know. It will hurt if he rejects you, but at least then you’ll be able to deal with it and move on.”

“I know, Dr. Lloyd. Thank you.”

“Good luck, Robin. And thanks, Bonnie, for calling _Real Love_ with me, Dr. Emma Lloyd.”

Bonnie ends the call and hands me a tissue. I nod my head in thanks and wipe my eyes. “Just tell him,” she whispers. “I hate to see you like this, and I know you hate to see him hurt.” She pauses, but decides not to say more. “I’ll leave you alone so you can think, okay?”

“Thanks, Bonnie. Have a good night.”

I’m so afraid, but I know Dr. Lloyd is right.

I have to do something, or I’ll never be happy.


	4. Needed Someone to Hold Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin asks Patrick to dinner so she can finally tell him the truth.

**Robin**

Patrick’s next break-up happens fast. This time, I decide not to wait long. After comforting him initially, I invite him to dinner the very next week, planning to settle this once and for all.

Patrick suggested one of our favorite restaurants for dinner. I don’t want to turn this declaration into a production; I want him to be able to let me down easily if that’s the way this is going to go.

So I dress like I usually do and plan to act as normal as I can.

Patrick is waiting for me outside. He waves eagerly and pulls me into a hug as soon as I’m close enough. I breathe in deeply, smelling him, fully aware that if things go the way I want, I could be spending the rest of the night, not to mention the rest of my life, in his arms.

I cling to Patrick a little longer than is necessary and he chuckles. “You okay, Robin?”

I nod. I just want to blurt out how I’m feeling so I can get it over with, but I contain myself. I have a whole speech planned, and I should wait until we sit down so we have more privacy.

Patrick takes my hand and pulls me inside. “We have a table already,” he informs me shyly. For the first time, I notice that he’s acting a little strange.

My heart starts beating faster. I’m usually a person who plans for the worst, but right now I’m so hopeful that I’m planning for the best.

Maybe Patrick is going to tell me the same thing I’m going to tell him.

“Are you okay, Patrick?” I ask nervously, my hand trembling slightly in his as he guides me to the back of the restaurant.

He takes a deep breath and turns to me. “I’ve never been more okay, Robin,” he confesses, smoothing a loose strand of hair over my ear affectionately. “I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time, and I can’t believe it’s finally here.”

All my plans go out the window as I breathlessly wonder, “What moment, Patrick?”

He grins and turns me as we arrive at our table.

“Robin, I’d like you to meet Sophia, my fiancée. Sophia, this is Robin. She’s my best friend.”

For a moment, I’m certain that I’m going to pass out. It’s like someone has knocked all of the air out of my lungs. I’m nauseous, and my heart feels like it’s stopped.

How does he have a fiancée? Last week, he was newly single and heartbroken.

And this has to be serious. He’s never asked someone to marry him before.

He must really be happy.

Meanwhile, I feel like I’ve died inside. There’s only pain.

I had five years to tell him that I loved him, and I was too afraid to take the chance.

Not that it matters. If he wants to marry someone else, he obviously doesn’t love me.

I’m the world’s biggest idiot. I’ve been blaming him for not seeing me and ignoring the clear answer. The answer I’ve been giving everyone as an excuse, but wouldn’t let myself believe.

He does see me.

He just doesn’t see what I want him to see.

He doesn’t love me. Not like that. He sees his best friend.

I have to let go. I have to just be his friend.

All I want to do is go home and cry, but if I leave now, it would disappoint him. And it would be terribly rude.

So I take a deep breath and try to crawl out of my sad little hole.

I’m good at running on autopilot thanks to long days at the bakery, and I’m relieved to find myself reaching out to shake Sophia’s hand and congratulating her.

She gives me an odd look as Patrick pulls my chair out for me, keeping his hand on my back while he does. I hope that I don’t look too shaken. Patrick hasn’t noticed any change, so I think I must seem together. He knows me better than anyone.

I have to quickly push that thought aside in order to keep my composure.

I’ve met all of Patrick’s girlfriends. The odd look isn’t unusual. Half of the time, they think I’m a guy because of my name. I’ve come to realize that Bonnie is right; some women have an issue with their boyfriend’s best friend being female.

I’d say it was a stupid thing to have an issue with, but I am in love with him, so that feels hypocritical.

Still, I would never do anything to hurt him, and that means not interfering in his relationships.

I’d never forgive myself if I selfishly told him my own feelings and ruined everything. He deserves a better friend than that.

Patrick starts to tell me how he rescued Sophia when her building caught on fire. He carried her down fifteen flights of stairs and then sat by her hospital bed until she woke up.

When she did, he asked her to marry him, and she said yes.

Of course she did. Why would she say anything else?

I can’t blame her for loving him. I know how much he deserves to be loved.

Somehow, I make it through dinner.

As we all leave the restaurant together, Patrick pulls me into another hug and kisses my cheek tenderly. “Thank you, Robin. For always being there for me. I know I’m a handful. Things are going to be a little different now, but you’re still my best friend, okay? You always will be.”

I am barely keeping it together as it is, and I’m about to break.

But I swallow everything back just enough to reassure him.

“You’re not a handful, Patrick. And I’ll always be here for you. Whenever you need me.”

It’s ironic, isn’t it? All I want is comfort because I’m so hurt, but I can’t tell the one person I want to comfort me why.

It’s not even real comfort, anyway. Being in his arms just reminds me of what I hoped would happen tonight.

But life isn’t a fairy tale. Sometimes wishes don’t come true.

And mine never will.

As soon as I’m in my apartment, I get sick.

Once I’m finished, I start to sob.

I just need to let it all go. Get it out of my system. Maybe then I’ll be all right.

Deep down, though, I suspect that I’ll never be all right again.


	5. Drag You Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin tries to learn how to just be a friend.

**Robin**

The next day, Patrick notices that I’m looking rather haggard. I tell him I didn’t sleep well, which isn’t a lie.

I don’t tell him that it’s because I cried about him all night.

I’d cry again when he pulls me into his arms, but there literally aren’t any tears left in me.

He asks Bonnie if she can handle the counter on her own. When she says yes, he insists on taking me into my office and making me nap.

It’s not anything we haven’t done before. He lays down on the couch and tucks me against his chest, pulling the blanket over both of us before kissing my forehead and starting to rub my back soothingly.

He always knows exactly what I need. Even though I can’t tell him what’s wrong, it’s still comforting.

It doesn’t help the ache, though. We’ll never be more than this, and I know I should be grateful. How many people have a friend like Patrick? My guess is not many.

But I can’t help wanting more, and it’s just going to take time to teach me how to stop.

When I wake up, Patrick is sneaking back into the office with lunch. “Thank you.” I lean my head on his shoulder as he sits down beside me.

“You’re welcome, Robin.” He puts his arm around me and squeezes gently.

He lets me eat a bit before continuing. “My wedding is January 20,” he informs me.

Five months.

In five months, he’ll be someone else’s forever.

“I wanted it to be sooner,” he admits, “but we need time to plan.” He bites his lip and smiles at me sweetly. “Will you, um, make our wedding cake?”

I’m ready for this question, at least. Who else would he ask?

“Of course, Patrick.”

His face lights up. I’m glad I can make him look like that, even if I wish it were for different reasons. “I’ll have to ask Sophia what she likes,” he muses. “It’s her special day, so she gets whatever she wants. Everything she wants.”

“That’s very generous, Patrick,” I murmur, desperately wishing that he wanted to give me everything.

He shrugs. “It’s just the way it should be. I’ll find out and let you know. You just tell me how much it is and I’ll pay for it as soon as I can.”

I shake my head. “No, you won’t, Patrick. I’ll do it for free.”

“You can’t, Robin,” he protests. “It will be a lot of work.”

“Hardly. I can make a cake in my sleep,” I joke. “Besides, I want to do it, Patrick. For you. It’s my first and last opportunity, after all. You only get married once.”

It may be a cliché to others, but it’s not to him. Once he commits to someone, he doesn’t give up. He’ll do anything to make it work.

He and Sophia are going to get married and have a family, and I’m going to be forced to watch the life I wanted from the sidelines.

“Yeah,” he answers happily before pausing. “You won’t even let me try to talk you out of it?” He nudges me playfully and I laugh.

“Not a chance.”

He gives me another tight hug and kiss on the forehead. “Thank you, Robin. Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome, Patrick.” I sigh and look at the clock. “I need to get back to work.”

“And I need to get to work,” Patrick announces, standing up. He grabs my hands, drawing me after him. He smooths down my hair and holds my face in his hands, just staring at me for a moment.

I feel like my love for him has been written all over my face for five years.

Why can’t he see it?

Maybe I’m just better at hiding my feelings than I think.

“You should find more balance, Robin,” he observes quietly. “I know that you don’t need anybody to tell you what to do. You’ve always had it all figured out. I like that about you. But you’d make someone so happy. You don’t have to be alone.”

He doesn’t mean it to be a dagger in my heart, but it feels like one.

“Maybe Sophia has some friends she could introduce you to,” Patrick decides brightly. “We could go on a double date.”

Nothing in the world sounds less appealing. I can’t even imagine sitting at a restaurant across from Patrick, watching him with someone else while I try to seem interested in another man.

“Let’s get you married first,” I reply nonchalantly. “Then we can worry about me. I’m about to be really busy with the holidays, anyway. Not the best time to start dating.”

“You’ll get there, Robin. I know you will. You take whatever you want and make it real.”

I used to think that was true.

I slip and let myself be cynical for a moment. “I don’t know. It might be bad to want anything else. People probably only get so many dreams. I did so well with the first one that I should quit while I’m ahead.”

Maybe that’s it. Maybe I used up all the karma I’ll ever earn on my bakery.

Before Patrick can respond, I chuckle. “Anyway, enough being morose. I’m just tired. I’ll feel better tomorrow.”

Patrick nods, but for just a moment, I think he seems unsure.

If I’m right, he doesn’t acknowledge it.

“Soccer on Friday?”

“Of course. Will Sophia be there? I’ll bring coffee.”

“Hot chocolate,” he counters. “She doesn’t like coffee.”

“I’ll remember that.”

He still hasn’t let go of my hand. “I want you two to be friends, Robin. I want that a lot.”

“I’m sure we will be, Patrick. We just need to get to know each other.”

“Yeah,” he agrees. “Okay, I’m really going now. I’ll see you later.”

He goes, and before I can walk back out into the bakery, Bonnie is in my doorway.

“He’s getting married,” she states flatly.

Apparently I was wrong about being out of tears, because hearing it said so bluntly like that makes me start sobbing.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Bonnie apologizes, coming over to hug me as I sink back down onto the couch. “I just don’t understand. A week ago, he was single. What happened?”

She hands me some tissues from my desk and I dab at my eyes. “He found the one, Bonnie. That’s all. There’s nothing else to say.”

“You didn’t tell him?”

“How could I?” I whisper. “Bonnie, I was there and I was hopeful and then suddenly I was meeting his fiancée. It’s got to be the worst case of whiplash in history.”

“Robin, this is your last chance. You have to say something.”

I shake my head adamantly. “I can’t, Bonnie. He’s happy. He doesn’t need me ruining it with feelings he obviously doesn’t return. I just have to learn how to be only his friend. That’s what he wants.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do. And I’m starting right now. I don’t want to talk about this again, okay?”

She sighs, understanding how serious I am.

She leaves the office.

I clean myself up and get back to work.

****

That Friday, I head to soccer as usual. It’s starting to get colder now that it’s September, so I’m armed with donuts and cider, as well as coffee for me and a hot chocolate for Sophia.

I’m getting everything set up for the guys when she approaches me. I haven’t seen Patrick yet.

I’m ready to be friendly. I can do this.

“Hi, Sophia,” I greet her. “I brought you a hot chocolate.”

She just stares at the cup like it’s from another planet.

“We need to talk,” she declares.

“Of course.” I let her grab my arm and pull me behind the bleachers. “Is everything okay?”

“You can stop now,” she starts.

“Stop what?”

“You can stop the act. I know you’re in love with Patrick. I listen to Dr. Lloyd’s show every day. I recognized your voice the night we met; it just took me a while to figure it out.”

My blood goes cold and my heart stops beating.

I can’t even speak. And if I could, what I would I say? It’s not like I can really deny it, and that would probably just make it worse.

“I want you to stay away from him from now on,” she continues. “He shouldn’t be so close to another woman, anyway. He’s marrying me.”

I feel like my brain has shorted out.

Stay away from Patrick? I can’t.

He may not love me like I love him, but I at least want his friendship.

I need it.

I take a deep breath. We can both be reasonable, I’m sure.

“You’re right,” I admit. “I do love him. But he doesn’t love me, Sophia. He loves you. I would never say anything to damage your relationship.” I worry my lower lip anxiously. “I know you don’t have any reason to trust me, but you obviously trust Patrick, and he would never, ever hurt you, no matter what anyone else said.”

“I don’t care. I don’t want you around. He’ll get over you. He’s mine now. He doesn’t need anybody else.”

My natural instinct is to open my mouth to protest.

But then I realize that there’s nothing I can say.

If I persist, who knows what she’ll do? If she doesn’t feel comfortable, it could ruin things for him, and that’s what I’m trying to avoid.

And how can I blame her for feeling this way around me, considering what she knows?

If I really was just his friend, maybe we could work it out.

But I’m not just his friend, and I never will be. I’m never going to be able to forget how I feel about him. If I think I can, I’m just fooling myself.

I want him to be happy, and this is what his happiness costs.

It’s going to hurt him when I become distant. But I won’t be able to explain it to him. I can’t. Not without admitting everything.

So I do the only thing I can do.

I stop fighting.

“You’re right,” I relent. She’s obviously surprised that I’m giving her what she wants, but she doesn’t argue.

Why would she? She gets Patrick, and I get nothing.

“I’ll go,” I finish quietly. “I hope you’re happy together, Sophia. I really do.”

“Thank you.” Her voice is tight, like she doesn’t mean it.

Again, I can’t blame her.

I don’t see Patrick before I leave.

Maybe it’s better this way. A clean break. As clean as it can be, anyway.

The bakery is closed by the time I get back. I stand in the middle of the dark lobby and look over everything that I worked so hard to achieve.

Now that my time with Patrick is over, I realize how little the bakery matters.

I thought I would never care about something as much as I cared about this, but I would trade all of the success I have just for a chance to be with him.

I don’t really believe in karma, despite what I said to Patrick a few days ago, but I need something to be angry at.

So I’ll be angry at my accomplishments for driving me to a point where I forgot about everything else in my life, and for serving as a distraction when I needed an excuse not to live.

I’ll be angry at myself for being blind to my feelings when I first met Patrick, and for keeping them to myself for so long.

I’ll be angry at anything that makes me forget to be angry at him for never noticing that I love him. That makes me forget to be angry at Sophia for knowing my secret and pushing me away like any sane woman would do.

I can’t stand crying again, so I pick up one of the chairs and smash it into the empty display case, wailing in agony as I listen to the glass shatter before dropping to the floor.

I am completely and totally broken.


	6. Run Out of Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick’s wedding is just a few days away, but he’s worried about his distant best friend.

**Robin**

Months pass.

I throw myself into the bakery. It’s the only thing I have left.

I cry myself to sleep every single night thinking about Patrick.

What makes it worse is that his visits haven’t stopped. He still shows up every morning and evening without fail.

My heart dies a little more each time I see the hurt look on his face when I decline his offers to talk or go out. I refuse the food he brings. I’ve stopped attending his soccer games.

All I tell him is that I’m swamped. And I am. It’s not a lie.

But I always made time for him before when I was busy, so he knows something is wrong.

He leaves it alone out of respect for me, but I think he’s nearing the end of his rope. Eventually, he’s going to insist that I confess.

I think he would have already done it if he weren’t distracted by his upcoming wedding.

I’m still making the cake. Apparently, even Sophia couldn’t turn that down.

Patrick dropped off my invitation personally. He’d already filled out the RSVP for me.

I’ll probably play sick the day of. Even if Sophia wanted me there, I don’t think I could make it through the ceremony without breaking down.

I miss Patrick terribly.

But there’s nothing I can do.

**Patrick**

I slip into the bakery, waving at Robin behind the counter. She moves her fingers idly to acknowledge my presence, but that’s all.

She doesn’t even smile anymore. She looks like something is draining the life out of her. There are always deep, dark bags under her eyes, and she’s paler than usual. It’s like staring at a zombie that remembers the motions of her previous life, but has forgotten their purpose.

I don’t understand why she won’t tell me what’s wrong. She always tells me what’s wrong, but for months, she’s been resisting all of my attempts to talk to her. She did tell me she wasn’t sick when I asked, but that’s it.

I’m trying not to force her to talk to me, but I’m running out of time. My wedding is this weekend, and then I’m leaving on my honeymoon for two weeks. I can’t stand the thought of leaving her like this with no one checking in on her.

She’s my best friend. I love her. I can’t imagine my life without her.

I just want her to be happy.

I mention it to Sophia before soccer the next day. “I’m worried about Robin,” I start.

Her reaction surprises me. “Why would you worry about her?” she wonders testily.

I blink. “Sophia, she’s my best friend. Something’s really wrong with her. Something’s been wrong for months. And we’re leaving soon. There’s not going to be anyone there for her while we’re gone.”

“She’s a grown woman. She can take care of herself,” Sophia replies coldly.

Does she really not care? I wanted her and Robin to be friends, but Robin’s been ducking my invitations to go out, so they’ve hardly gotten to know each other at all.

“Sophia…” I protest gently. “I know the wedding is close and we’re dealing with a lot, but she needs us.”

“No, she doesn’t, Patrick! She obviously doesn’t want to talk to you, so you should take the hint! You shouldn’t have female friends anyway, not when we’re about to be married.”

“What? Sophia, that’s ridiculous. Why can’t I have female friends? Robin has always been there for me, and I need to be there for her too. I can’t abandon her just because she’s having a tough time.”

“You have to!” she snaps. “It’s me or her, Patrick! Choose one or the other. You can’t have both.”

Her words hang heavily in the air between us. We hardly ever fight; fighting isn’t worth it when you love someone.

It must be wedding stress. It’s the only explanation. She can’t possibly mean what she’s saying.

“I’m going to be late,” I finish quietly. “We’ll talk after soccer when we’ve both calmed down.”

****

My game does not go well. The ref makes a shitty call and I get in his face, still angry about what Sophia said. I thought I would start to feel better as I played, but I’m just more angry as time passes.

When the game ends, I realize that she didn’t stay. I hitch a ride with the guys, sitting in the back of the van mutely while they joke and flip through radio stations.

They stop on that relationship advice show that Sophia never misses. I’ve always thought it was silly, but I listen to it with her because she likes it.

“Next caller,” Dr. Lloyd begins. “Sophia of Astoria, you’re on the air.”

Everyone looks at me curiously as my brow furrows. It can’t be my Sophia.

Can it?

The caller starts to speak.

It’s definitely Sophia.

My stomach drops into my feet as she admits that she’s having second thoughts about getting married.

The silence in the car is deafening as she starts talking about how I failed some online compatibility test she took.

When Dr. Lloyd asks her what started her doubts beyond the test, my mouth drops open in shock at her answer.

“Well, he has this friend. A female friend. He sees her every day and thinks about her all the time. I know she’s in love with him. I told her to back off and she did. But now I think he’s in love with her too.”

I’d laugh if I weren’t so upset.

Robin isn’t in love with me. That’s ridiculous. We’re just friends.

And Sophia asked her to back off? Is that why she’s not talking to me? She must have told Sophia how wrong she was, but Robin always tries to do the right thing, so if it was what Sophia really wanted, she’d do it.

Besides, even if Robin, or anyone else, was in love with me, how could Sophia possibly think that would matter? I love her, and she knows that. I would never cheat on her.

I listen as Dr. Lloyd basically tells Sophia to call off our wedding.

I feel like the world is dropping out from under me, and I don’t know how to stop it.

**Robin**

“Robin! Robin! Get your ass in here!” Bonnie hollers. “You are not going to believe this!”

“What is it, Bonnie?” I wonder, coming out of the office and sliding behind the counter.

“Shut up!” she hisses, gesturing at the radio. “Listen!”

I recognize Sophia’s voice and my eyes get wide as I hear her words.

“Fuck,” I curse succinctly.

“What do you mean, fuck?” Bonnie squeals, grabbing my arm. “This is your chance. Now he knows! He’s going to ask you about it. Just tell him the truth!”

He will ask me about it. She’s right about that. And I won’t be able to duck him this time. I’ll have to say something.

But what?


	7. Don't Know What Happiness Means

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick and Robin both wonder what to do next.

**Patrick**

I call Sophia when I get home.

She tells me it’s over and hangs up on me.

I can’t sleep, so I just sit and stare out my window.

All I want is my best friend, but I’m afraid that if I go to Robin, Sophia will see it as confirmation that she’s right and I won’t be able to get her back.

If she hadn’t called that stupid show, this never would have happened. We could have talked and everything would have been fine.

Who does that Dr. Lloyd think she is, anyway? She’s meddling in people’s lives and telling them what to do in their relationships when she doesn’t even know them!

Sophia and I are meant to be. I know it. I rescued her, just like in a fairy tale.

It’s a perfect love story, but now it’s come to a premature end.

And I’m too confused to figure out what to do, especially with no one to talk to.

**Robin**

For once, I’m not crying myself to sleep.

Instead, I’m just thinking.

What am I going to do about Patrick?

I’d say I’m surprised that he hasn’t shown up yet, but I know how he thinks. He’ll stay away so that he can prove to Sophia that her accusations are groundless.

Bonnie says this is my chance to finally get Patrick for myself. I get where she’s coming from. Now that the topic is out in the open, I’m probably going to have to confront it at some point. That’s what I’m preparing for, anyway.

What Bonnie doesn’t grasp is that this actually makes everything worse.

Despite my best efforts, I’ve ruined Patrick’s marriage. Granted, I didn’t burst into his wedding and finally confess my feelings for him while he and Sophia were standing at the altar, but I may as well have.

I wish I’d never even met Patrick. Then he and Sophia would be happy and I wouldn’t be miserable.

Deep down, I know I don’t mean it. The thought of being without Patrick is unbearable, especially since I understand how that feels. I’ve been living it for months.

I just don’t see how this can end well for anyone.

Based on what I heard, Sophia is going to break up with Patrick. He’ll try to win her back, of course, but if she really tells him no, he’ll let it go.

At the very least, he’ll be heartbroken again. And how can he come to me for comfort with what she said lingering in the back of his mind?

If he asks me directly, I’ll have to reveal everything. Deflecting his questions and telling him half-truths is one thing, but I can’t outright lie. Even if I wanted to, he’d know.

Right now, I’m sure he’s convinced that Sophia is misinterpreting everything. He’ll insist that we’re just friends, and that I’m not in love with him. Even if he acknowledges the possibility, he’ll assure her that he’s not in love with me.

He won’t blame anybody. He’ll think that all of this is just some big mistake because he always assumes that people have the best intentions. But when I have to admit that Sophia was right and that I’m in love with him, my intentions aren’t going to matter.

She didn’t make up her concerns. The dots connect. He won’t be able to ignore that.

Life isn’t a romantic comedy. He’s not going to suddenly see something in me that he hasn’t noticed in five and a half years. He’s not just going to forget about the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and turn his affections to me instead.

Patrick is the sweetest person in the world. But even he accepts the truth when it’s staring him right in the face.

And the truth is that he can’t forgive me. How could anyone forgive what I’ve done?

I was trying so hard to make sure he was happy, and somehow all that trying still ended like this.

So no matter how much I want to call, I won’t.

No matter how much I want to go to him, I won’t.

He’s better off without me, and he has to know that by now.


	8. Suddenly You Found Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick and Robin finally talk, but it doesn’t go like either of them expected.

**Robin**

January 20 passes uneventfully.

The e-mail Patrick sent to everyone on the guest list just said the wedding was off.

I can’t even begin to imagine how he’s feeling right now.

We still haven’t talked.

Maybe we won’t.

At least it would be over.

It’s Wednesday afternoon when Bonnie suddenly gasps and grabs my arm so tight that I think she’s going to twist it off.

My heart leaps into my chest and I keep my eyes down.

Is it Patrick?

Bonnie nudges me hard. “Robin, look!” She manhandles my face and forces my gaze up.

“Oh,” I manage curiously.

Dr. Emma Lloyd is standing in my bakery.

She comes to the counter and Bonnie starts freaking out.

“Oh my gosh! Dr. Lloyd! I can’t believe you’re here! My name is Bonnie, and I’m a huge fan! I just got your book and it’s amazing!”

“Bonnie, please,” I mutter. I smile at Dr. Lloyd brightly. “Sorry about her. I swear she’s a regular person most of the time.”

Bonnie playfully smacks me in the shoulder and Dr. Lloyd laughs. “It’s no trouble at all,” she replies politely. “It’s always lovely to meet a fan. And call me Emma, please.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Emma. I’m Robin.” I reach out my hand and she shakes it genially. “What can I get for you today?”

“Well, I have a rather unusual request,” she reveals. “I’m looking for The Firehouse Bar? But I can’t seem to find it.”

“That’s because it’s not actually called The Firehouse Bar,” I answer automatically. “People just refer to it that way because all the local firemen hang out there. It’s not far from here.” I frown. “Why are you looking for it?” I can’t think of any good reason for Emma to want to go there.

“Well, someone told me I could find Patrick Sullivan there. I need to speak to him.”

Bonnie stomps on my foot and I jump. “Ouch, Bonnie,” I grumble.

“Robin can take you, Emma. It’s slow right now and will be for a while, and she’s been to the bar before.”

“I’ll just tell Emma where it is, Bonnie,” I correct her sternly. “I’m sure she doesn’t want me tagging along.”

“Actually, would you mind? I’d like to get this taken care of as soon as possible. I’d really appreciate it.”

I could say no, but she’s so kind. I would feel like the world’s biggest jerk.

And even though I’m sure she doesn’t remember, she did give me good advice.

“Of course, Emma,” I relent. “Let’s go.”

As we walk to the bar, I can’t help myself. “Do you mind if I ask why you’re looking for Patrick?” I wonder.

“Well, it’s the funniest thing,” Emma starts, though her high-pitched laugh clearly indicates that she’s more stressed than amused. “I’m getting married soon, and I went to get my marriage license today, but due to some glitch in the system, I’m already married. To Patrick Sullivan.”

“That’s… interesting,” I observe, starting to get suspicious.

It’s a rather coincidental accident, after all.

“Here we are,” I announce, holding the door open for her. I swallow carefully, willing myself to stay calm.

As soon as I walk through the door, I’m greeted by a bunch of rowdy bar patrons. I spent a lot of time here with Patrick, and I’ve beaten all of them at pool at least once. I smile as genuinely as I can; I have missed coming here, and it’s not their fault that I’ve felt isolated these past few months.

“Long time no see, Robin! You looking for Patrick? He’s at the pool table.”

I turn and glance in that direction. My breath catches in my throat as I realize that Patrick is staring right at me.

Then his eyes slide over to Emma and he’s suddenly alarmed. Before she can look, he drops down to the floor.

I actually laugh. If I wasn’t suspicious before, I definitely am now.

I lead Emma to the back. “Hi, Larry. Is Patrick around?” I ask casually. What was his plan, anyway? We know he’s here.

Patrick pops up. “Hey! I, uh, dropped my chalk.” He sets the small blue cube down and his brow furrows as he gazes at me.

Luckily, Emma takes over. I slip away and lean against the wall as she tries to explain her problem to Patrick.

I watch Patrick carefully as he and Emma interact. No one else would notice anything odd, but I know Patrick better than I know myself.

He’s baiting her. Teasing her. And he’s enjoying it.

That’s not like him at all.

I underestimated how bitter he would be about Sophia leaving him. He must be blaming Emma for their break-up, which I suppose isn’t surprising. He’s certainly not going to blame Sophia.

Finally, I’ve had enough. I rejoin the group, yanking Patrick to me by his wallet chain. “I’m sorry, Emma, can you excuse us for a moment?” I don’t wait for an answer as I pull him with me out the back door.

Patrick looks at me indignantly when I let him go, crossing my arms over my chest and glaring at him once we’re alone.

“What are you doing to her, Patrick?”

His mouth is set in a hard line as he retorts, “That’s all you have to say to me?”

For now, I ignore all the implications that could be hidden in his question. “What else should I say, Patrick?” I hiss. “This wasn’t an accident, was it? Did Ajay do this for you?” Ajay is the son of Patrick’s neighbor, and he’s a computer whiz.

“Maybe,” Patrick mumbles.

“Why, Patrick?!”

“She told Sophia to leave me, Robin! I want to give her a piece of my mind! She had no right!”

I sigh heavily. “Patrick, Sophia didn’t leave you because of Emma.”

She left him because of me. The guilt is still tearing me up inside.

But suddenly I realize that I’m bitter too.

Sophia didn’t just leave because of me. She left because of her. It’s obvious that she didn’t trust Patrick enough to think he wouldn’t be interested in someone else.

Everyone leaves him. Except for me.

I have comforted him and patched up his hurt feelings after every single bad experience. I have spent five and a half years pining for him, rejecting everyone else who openly wanted me because I keep hoping that one day, he’ll see that I’m the one who really loves him.

I’ve put my life on hold waiting for him, and I am so, so tired of it.

In the past, that thought would have made me cry.

But I’m finally done.

“Yes, she did!” Patrick yells harshly. “Her test said we weren’t compatible, and when Sophia went on that stupid show, she said to call off our wedding!”

He throws his hands up in the air and starts to rant, going on and on about statistics and nosy women who don’t know what they’re talking about. I try to interrupt him, but he just keeps talking louder.

He actually pushes me away when I try to grab his wrists.

As I stumble backwards, the words slip out before I can think about how brutal they sound.

“Patrick!” I snap. “Emma didn’t make Sophia take that test! Emma didn’t make her call the show! Did it ever occur to you that someone who keeps looking for relationship advice when they’re supposedly in a happy relationship isn’t that happy?!”

I clap my hands over my mouth and immediately wish I could take what I said back. I may be done waiting around for him to love me, but I still care.

It stops him, at least.

He looks at me with tears in his eyes, biting his lower lip to keep it from trembling, and I find myself moving toward him.

“Patrick, I’m sorry,” I whisper. “That was awful of me. I shouldn’t have said it.” I stop in front of him, reaching out tentatively.

“Don’t.” He steps back. “Just don’t, Robin.”

He slips inside, leaving me alone.

How could I say something like that to him? It’s true, but that doesn’t mean I should have brought it up.

I finally talk to my best friend and the man I’m in love with after months of distance and this is how it goes.

I’m an idiot.

I consider just leaving, but Emma is still inside.

So I go back into the bar, surprised to see Emma drinking and playing pool with Larry and now Patrick.

“Robin!” she hollers. “Come and play with us!”

“Emma, why don’t we get you home?” I suggest instead. “It’s starting to get dark.”

“No, no, we have to play!” she insists excitedly. “After we get drinks!”

“Emma, I don’t drink…” I trail off as she drags me over to the bar.

Unfortunately, she drags me a little too hard. I trip and my head slams into the wooden surface.

I wince as everything gets fuzzy and then goes dark.

**Patrick**

I gasp as I see Robin hit her head and start to slump, dropping my pool stick and running over to catch her.

I hold her under her arms as she passes out against my chest.

I was so angry at her for what she said, but now all my anger dissipates.

This is my fault. I lured Emma here with the stupid marriage prank, and now Robin is hurt.

“Larry, can you make sure Emma gets home all right? I need to take care of Robin.”

“Sure thing, Patrick.”

I pick Robin up, laying her gently on the pool table while I pay my tab and Emma’s and grab my coat.

I decide to take her back to my apartment so I can keep an eye on her.

I cradle her head against my shoulder and bury my nose in her hair, letting the cool night air calm me as I walk.

Robin always smells good. Like butter and sugar and chocolate and cherries.

I have missed her so much these past few months. The past few days I’ve missed her even more.

I could have gone to see her. Sophia and I really are over; she made that much clear when we spoke for the final time.

I almost did go see her on the day of the wedding.

But instead, I sat in my bed and cried and thought about what Sophia said.

And what I said back.

I wanted to have everything figured out by the time I talked to Robin again, but I still haven’t managed that.

Once we arrive at my apartment, I get her into my bed. I take her shoes and coat off, making sure she’ll be comfortable. She lives in leggings, so that works in my favor. I don’t want to be creepy and take her clothes off.

She has a nasty bump on her head. I need to put some ice on it, so I go to my freezer and get a bag of peas, wrapping it in a towel and bringing it into the bedroom. I roll her onto her back and let them sit there for a few minutes while I change.

I put the peas back in the freezer before I ease Robin between the blankets and then join her, pulling her back against my chest.

We used to sleep together like this all the time, just curled up and enjoying each other’s closeness.

Even if I wasn’t tired, I’d let her sleep on me and just watch her.

She’s peaceful when she sleeps. She forgets about the fast pace of her life and finally relaxes. She’s soft and warm and she clings to me so tightly, like she can’t stand to be without me.

She’s always been there for me. Every time my heart was broken, every time I needed a shoulder to cry on.

I don’t think I appreciated it enough.

She just wants me to be happy. It’s why she always supports me, no matter what. It’s why she backed off when Sophia asked her to.

She’s always putting me first. She always tells me what I need to hear.

What she said earlier at the bar did hurt, but she was right. Sophia wasn’t happy, and she didn’t care if I was happy.

Sophia hated that I watched sports. She despised my taste in movies. She didn’t want me to play soccer anymore. She wasn’t willing to compromise, either. I did everything she liked to do, and she just tried to get me to stop doing everything I enjoyed.

She didn’t want me. That’s what it really comes down to.

I don’t know how I ever thought she did.

Robin, though…

She’ll watch games with me even when she has no idea what’s going on. She just tells me to let her know who to root for and when.

She’ll let me pick any movie I want and find something she likes about every single one.

She came to all of my soccer games before Sophia told her to stay away, and she didn’t just sit and wait until it was over. She cheered for me and brought food for everyone like the sweetheart she is.

I hold her tighter as my heart starts to beat faster. I feel like I can’t breathe.

I’ve been trying to figure out what my feelings are, and suddenly they’re perfectly clear.

Sophia was right.

I love Robin.

I’ve always loved her as my friend.

But I love her. Just the way Sophia meant it.

What I don’t understand is why it took me so long to see it. I’ve known her for five and a half years, and it never occurred to me. Not once.

I thought I knew what love was. I thought I knew what it felt like. I thought I knew how it happened.

Now I’m not sure what I know anymore.

And I have no idea what to do about it.

Sophia said Robin loves me.

But if that’s true, why hasn’t she ever said anything?

And if she does, how can she ever forgive me for not seeing her for so long?

How do you make up for missing something like that?

Robin turns in my embrace, twining her arms around me and pressing her face against my neck. “Patrick?” she murmurs.

She’s not really awake, so I just hold her as close as I can and kiss her forehead soothingly. “I’m here, Robin. It’s okay. Get some sleep.”

She sighs and burrows into me, going still again as I rub her back.

I’ll talk to her tomorrow, as soon as I figure out what to say. Right now, I can’t think of anything that will be remotely adequate.

Whatever the truth is, the most important thing is that I love her.

No matter what I may have already done wrong, I have to try as hard as I can to win her heart now.


	9. Every Woman in the World to Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick has a disturbing revelation and asks Emma how she thinks he can win Robin’s heart.

**Patrick**

When I wake up the next morning, Robin is gone. I’m not surprised; she has to be at the bakery early to get everything ready for the day.

It’s probably a good thing, anyway. I need some time to think about what to do.

I decide to fix things with Emma first. Ajay’s at school, so I can’t have him reverse the accidental marriage yet. I’ll ask later, but for now, I’ll go to Emma’s office and sign everything just in case.

Besides, she might be able to give me some advice.

I pick up coffee on the way. Once Emma sees me, she lets me in right away, taking the cup I offer her gratefully.

“This is so kind, Mr. Sullivan. I’m sorry about last night; I think I got a little carried away.”

She looks embarrassed, so I reassure her. “Hey, everybody needs to let loose once in a while. It was fun. We should do it again; you can bring your fiancé next time.”

Emma laughs. “Playing pool in a bar isn’t really Richard’s scene, but you’re very nice to include us.” She takes a sip of coffee and sighs in relief. “Is Robin all right, by the way? I feel so guilty for hurting her.”

“She’s tough. She’ll be okay. I got some ice on her head last night, so she shouldn’t be too bad.” I get quiet, biting my lip nervously as I think about Robin.

The moment is broken when Emma’s assistant comes into the room and tells her that her cake tasting appointment has been cancelled.

“What? No!” Emma protests. “Did she say why? It took me three months to get that appointment!”

“It took you three months to get an appointment to taste a cake?” I ask.

“Yes, it did,” Emma sighs in frustration. “She’s the best wedding cake designer in the city. Oh, what I am going to do now?”

I smile. “Hey, uh, if you need a cake, Robin’s the best baker around. She’d help you out.”

Emma pushes her hair out of her face and looks at me eagerly. “Really?”

I nod. “Really. Listen, I could take you. I was going to go see her after we’re done.”

“Could we go now? We can deal with the papers on the way.”

“Sure. Come on.”

We go downstairs and hail a cab. Once we’re inside, Emma turns to me. “You’re a very nice man, Mr. Sullivan,” she observes.

I chuckle. “I appreciate that, but I’m not. You wouldn’t think so if you knew what I’d done.”

“What do you mean?”

I scratch the back of my neck anxiously. “Listen, I’ll tell you, if you promise not to be mad at me. And if I can ask for your, uh, professional opinion?”

“Okay.” She stares at me curiously.

I take a deep breath. “Look, us being married? It wasn’t an accident. I had a friend of mine do it. To, well, get back at you.”

She’s obviously shocked, but she stays calm just like she promised. “Get back at me? For what?”

“My fiancée is a fan of your show, Emma. She called you a few days before our wedding and said she was having doubts. You basically told her to call it off, and she did.”

She blinks. “Oh, Mr. Sullivan, I…” She trails off. “Well, I suppose I don’t know what to say.”

“Patrick,” I correct her. I can’t help asking my next question. “You don’t ever think about the real people who are affected by what you say on your show?”

She frowns a little. “Well, I’ve always thought I was helping them,” she admits.

“I guess that’s fair. Look, I’m not upset anymore. I know it wasn’t your fault. I’ll have my friend undo all of this. It’ll be like it never happened.”

“I’d appreciate that, Patrick.” She pauses. “Are you going to ask me how to get your fiancée back?”

I shake my head. “No, actually.” I lick my lips, my heart beating faster as I prepare to admit this out loud for the first time. “She told you that she wanted to leave because I’m in love with my best friend. I thought it was crazy at the time, and I never would have cheated on Sophia, but, well, it turns out she was right. I am in love with my best friend, and now I don’t know what to say to her.”

For a moment, Emma just stares at me. “Robin’s the best friend, right?” she finally wonders quietly.

“Yeah.”

“So just tell her, Patrick. What’s the problem? She’s not with anyone, is she?”

“No. Never has been, the whole time we’ve known each other. It’s just that… Sophia said Robin is in love with me, but Robin’s never mentioned it. If she really is, wouldn’t she have said something by now?”

Emma seems to be thinking carefully. “Well, Patrick, there are several reasons someone might not reveal their feelings, in my experience. If you were with someone else or hurting after a break-up, she might have wanted to wait. Maybe she tried and the timing just never worked out, so she got frustrated. She could fear being rejected; that’s something a lot of people worry about. And she might not have wanted to risk losing what you did have as friends, no matter how strong her feelings are.”

I consider everything Emma just said.

I’ve dated a lot of women since I met Robin. I was in a relationship when we met; if she realized she loved me then, she never would have said anything. Her parents split up because her mother cheated on her father, and she feels very strongly about infidelity. She would try to wait for just the right moment, and she’d back off if she knew there was someone else in the picture, no matter how recent it was.

I gasp as it hits me like a ton of bricks, running my hand over my face anxiously. Emma touches my shoulder kindly. “What is it, Patrick?”

I look at her, feeling like I’m about to cry. “Couple Cakes,” I whisper. “I’m the world’s biggest idiot.”

“What are Couple Cakes?”

“When Robin and I met, I was dating a woman named Naomi. She broke up with me and Robin comforted me. Held me while I cried and wondered over and over what went wrong. Let me fall asleep with my head in her lap.”

“That sounds nice,” Emma acknowledges.

“She’s the nicest person in the world,” I confirm, blinking back tears. “A few weeks later, I came into the bakery and told her I had a date with a woman named Ann. I said I thought Ann could be the one.”

“I think I’m still missing the point, Patrick,” Emma admits.

“Right. Sorry. Robin had two little cakes on the counter in the shape of hearts. They were red velvet, my favorite. When I asked about them, she said they were called Couple Cakes and she might do them as a special for Valentine’s Day.”

My lower lip trembles and I sniffle. “She was trying to tell me, wasn’t she? She was trying to tell me that she loved me. She baked me my favorite cake in the shape of a heart and all I asked was if she was going to do other flavors so I could find out what Ann liked.”

Suddenly, I see every moment Robin and I have spent together in a whole different light. My chest is tight and I feel like I can’t breathe.

There have been so many times that she tried to tell me, and I didn’t recognize any of them.

Emma’s voice breaks me out of my thoughts. “Patrick? Are you okay?”

I shake my head. “No. No, not at all. Emma, how can I ever make up for this? She tried to tell me so many times, and I never saw her. She’s always been there, and I didn’t notice.”

Emma nods. “I know that you’re upset, Patrick, but what’s important now is that you tell the truth. Nothing will ever change if you aren’t honest. Just be honest.”

“Everything will be okay if I’m honest?” I clarify.

“I can’t promise that, Patrick. But I think it’s the best option.”

The cab pulls up outside Robin’s bakery. I get out and hold the door for Emma.

She squeezes my arm comfortingly as I pay the driver.

When I turn and look through the window of the bakery, I can see Robin behind the counter. Her chin-length light brown hair is pulled back like always, gathered in a neat little ponytail at the nape of her neck, giving me a perfect view of her profile.

Her cheeks are round, her lips are full, and there’s an adorable little swoop at the end of her nose. I can see how long her eyelashes are from the side. Her eyes are big and hazel, and she’s not wearing any make-up except for lip gloss.

She never wears make-up. I always liked that about her.

She’s dressed in what she jokingly calls her uniform. Leggings, flats, the t-shirt she had designed for all the bakery employees, and an apron. The clothes are all form-fitting, and anyone can see that she’s beautifully short and curvy and soft.

How have I never realized that’s she breathtakingly gorgeous before?

She’s perfect.

But she looks so, so sad. She’s smiling at the customer who’s standing in front of her, but the smile doesn’t reach her eyes.

Because of me.

Emma’s right. I have to tell Robin the truth. I have to know exactly how she feels. I have to know if I’m right about everything.

It’s the only way I’ll find out if she can forgive me and let me start loving her like she deserves.

“Okay,” I breathe, nodding at Emma. “I’m ready.”


	10. My Fantasy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick makes a grand gesture.

**Emma**

I let Patrick lead the way into the bakery. He walks up to the counter and smiles nervously at Robin, who smiles back just as nervously and then turns her attention to me.

I finally realized who she was in the cab.

I remember her call. I don’t remember every call I get, but I’ve never heard someone sound so defeated.

I didn’t want to tell Patrick that I know Robin loves him because of the show. It feels like a violation of privacy. The call was broadcast, of course, but he obviously didn’t hear it, and I don’t want to speak for her.

But it seems like my suggestions have helped him get the point.

Robin says that she’d be happy to set up an impromptu cake tasting for me, which I’m very grateful for. She has Bonnie take out several cakes for samples and invites the few customers eating in the bakery to join us too.

I invite Patrick to sit at my table since Robin is busy working.

She and Bonnie hand out slices of cake to the tables. She stops at mine last, setting two plates down. Then she reaches into her apron and hands me a brochure. “This lists all the flavors I have normally,” she explains. “I do specialty flavors too, if you’re interested. Just let me know what you want and I can probably figure it out. This one is pink champagne cake with strawberry buttercream.”

“Are the prices in here too?” I wonder.

Robin dips her head and smiles. “On the house, Emma. Please consider it a wedding gift.”

“Robin, I can’t do that! I need the cake on short notice; you have to let me pay. I insist.”

She laughs. “Your money’s no good here,” she assures me. “But I’ll compromise. You tell everybody who made your wedding cake and how good it was on your show and we’ll call it even.”

It’s a good bargain, so I nod. “Deal.”

“Good.” She studiously avoids Patrick’s eyes as she goes back behind the counter.

Patrick and I each take a bite of the cake Robin dropped off. “Oh my, that’s quite good,” I say primly.

Patrick, on the other hand, thumps the table with his fist. “This cake is fantastic!” he blurts out, his mouth still full. A few of the other customers laugh.

I’m about to tell him to be more polite when I notice Robin smiling to herself behind the counter.

Even though I prefer more understated behavior, I realize that she must find Patrick’s reaction endearing.

She comes back with a few more plates. “Chocolate cake with chocolate ganache and white buttermilk cake with vanilla mousseline.”

Patrick grabs her hand once she’s set the plates down. I notice that his first plate is empty. “Hey.” He grins up at her shyly. “Can I get another slice of this one, please?”

Robin smiles again. Her whole face lights up when she looks at Patrick. It’s kind of amazing to see.

“Get through the tasting first and we’ll see if you can handle more,” she admonishes him.

“It’s not me,” he jokes, “it’s Emma. She’s on the fence about the pink champagne.”

“I am not!” I protest. Robin winks at us and turns around.

“Hey!” Patrick calls again. Robin spins around, her cheeks flushed. “You don’t have any milk back there, do you?”

“You know I do.” She rolls her eyes playfully and pours a glass of milk for him.

Patrick is clearly enjoying himself now. He knows just what to say to cheer Robin up and make her laugh. He might be a little coarse around the edges, but he’s sweet.

“Hey, how much is this?” he asks as she sets the glass down in front of him.

“It’s free,” she answers breezily, grabbing our empty plates.

“Bullshit!” Patrick exclaims, drawing out the word and slapping his palm against the table to emphasize it. “It’s free!” He grabs his glass. “There’s my milk.” He turns to me. “Would you like a sip?”

I shake my head. “No, thank you. I’m not six,” I mutter.

How anyone can find him perfect is beyond me. He’s just too over the top.

Patrick tears a chunk off the end of his slice of chocolate cake, swaying back and forth gleefully as he dips it in his milk. Some of it breaks off in the process.

“Holy crap! Cake down. I need a spoon.”

This is mortifying, but I restrain myself, because even though other customers are watching curiously, Robin is giggling happily.

“Don’t worry about it, I got the spoon,” Patrick decides, dipping his fingers into the milk and scooping the cake into his mouth. “That’s awesome!” he declares, setting his glass down, grabbing the fork from each one of his plates and bringing one bite of chocolate and one bite of vanilla to his mouth at the same time.

He waves his forks in the air like a conductor. “Oh my God! Do you know if you mix these two together it tastes just like a Ring Ding?”

Robin is beaming as she sets another plate down. “My personal favorite,” she announces. “Red velvet cake with Tulare cherries in the batter and espresso ganache, topped with whipped cream, dark chocolate shavings, and Chelan cherries. A play on Black Forest cake.”

Patrick scoops up two more bites of cake and holds both of his forks out to Robin. “Baby, you gotta try this.”

Robin leans down and lets Patrick feed her the cake. She gets some frosting on the corner of her mouth and Patrick sets the forks down, wiping it away with his thumb. “You got frosting on you,” he points out softly, looking longingly at her lips.

Robin smiles, coming around the table to kiss Patrick’s cheek and hug him briefly. “I’ve missed you,” she whispers.

Patrick looks like he’s walking on air. “I’ve missed you too, Robin.”

I try Robin’s version of Black Forest cake, letting them have their moment. “Oh, wow,” I can’t help saying. It’s the best cake I’ve ever tasted.

Patrick takes his own bite as Robin goes back to work. “It’s super-duper, right? I love red velvet, and Robin made it better.”

As Robin comes back to the table and sets down vanilla cake with lemon buttercream frosting, I swallow and find myself requesting a glass of milk.

Patrick grins. “Atta girl! Milk for Emma! In fact, milks all around!” Robin waves her finger in a circle teasingly and Bonnie starts bringing milk to all of the tables.

Patrick starts chatting with the other customers, and he’s clearly winning them all over. I don’t know how he’s doing it. He’s directing everyone to try the chocolate and vanilla cakes together when the woman sitting nearest to us leans over to me and asks, “When are you two getting married?”

Before I can answer, Patrick replies. “Oh, we’re not together. Emma’s my friend, and she’s marrying a great guy. I’m just doing her a favor.”

“Oh, I see.”

“Are you with someone?” Bonnie interjects loudly.

Patrick blushes and shakes his head while Robin gives Bonnie a warning glare. “Not at the moment.” He glances at Robin, but her back to us.

“What kind of woman are you looking for?” Bonnie continues, smartly sliding down the counter away from her boss.

Patrick runs a hand through his hair bashfully. “Well, I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately, actually, and, uh.” He takes a deep breath. “I think the person you love should be your best friend. They should know everything about you, and love and support you no matter what. They should be the person you compare all other people to, and at the end of the day, you should want to see them more than anyone else.”

Robin’s gone completely still. I can see her hands tightly gripping the counter.

“It sounds like you have someone in mind,” the customer observes.

Patrick nods. “Yeah. I do.” He walks behind the counter and turns Robin to him, cupping her face in his hands. “I mean, come on, look at her. A guy would have to be blind.”

Robin just stares at Patrick mutely as he goes on. “Can you forgive me, Robin?” he begs. “I’m so sorry it took me so long to see you. You’ve been here the whole time, and I was too stupid to notice. I promise that I’ll spend the rest of our lives making up for it if you just give me the chance.”

I wince as I stare at Robin’s face. She looks like she’s either going to pass out or throw up, or maybe both, as Patrick takes her in his arms and starts to sing.

_Over night scenes, dinner and wine_   
_Saturday girls_   
_I was never in love, never had the time_

I look around in surprise as the customers begin to join him in singing the song.

_Girl, you’re every woman in the world to me_   
_You’re my fantasy, you’re my reality_

The atmosphere in the room is so happy. Patrick is beaming down at Robin, the customers are singing, Bonnie’s mouth is literally hanging open. It’s like watching a carefully scripted scene from a movie unfold.

Then everything shatters.

“I can’t,” Robin declares loudly.

She pushes Patrick away and retreats into the back of the bakery.

Patrick is completely crestfallen, and now all of the customers are quiet as they stare at him.

Bonnie takes charge. “All right, everyone. Nothing to see here. Emma, did you need to taste any more samples? If you’re ready, I can take your order.”

“Of course, Bonnie,” I answer smoothly. “I know what I want, so I think that’s a good idea.”

I move to the counter and start to fill out an order form while Patrick pulls himself together, wiping tears on his sleeve.

Finally, he looks at me, but before I can say anything, he hurries out the door.

“I’ll talk to her if you talk to him,” Bonnie says quietly. “I want to fix this.”

“So do I, Bonnie.” For some reason, I am determined to make this work out for the two of them. What just happened definitely isn’t the end of it; even a casual observer could see that. “My personal number is on the form. Call me when you know something, okay?”

“I will.”


	11. My Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick wonders how to proceed after Robin’s rejection. Bonnie and Emma make a plan.

**Patrick**

Once I’m outside the bakery, I gulp in fresh air, trying not to cry more.

I don’t understand what just happened.

Robin was smiling. She was happy. She said she missed me. She played along with all of my jokes. She kissed my cheek and let me touch her face.

I thought everything was going so well. Why did she push me away?

I look at Emma sadly as she joins me on the sidewalk. “What did I do wrong?” I ask.

She takes my arm so we can walk. “Well, Patrick,” she starts, “honestly, it might have been a bit much.”

I frown. “I thought it was romantic,” I admit.

Emma nods slightly. “I can understand why. It was a very grand gesture. But did it ever occur to you that after spending five years thinking you don’t return her feelings, Robin might be rather shocked when you suddenly declare them in public?”

“You mean I should have told her in private first?” I clarify.

“It might have been less intimidating, yes,” Emma acknowledges.

“So how do I fix it? I need to try again. I can’t just let it go.”

“I think you need to let her process what you said, Patrick, and then approach her with lower stakes. You put a lot of pressure on her because other people were watching.”

That’s not what I want to do. Now that I feel clearer, I want to go back to Robin and make her listen to me. I want to figure out the exact thing to say to prove to her that I’m sincere.

But maybe Emma’s right.

“Listen, Patrick. Just relax a bit. Don’t overthink anything. Try to have a little fun. Oh! I’m having a party tonight to celebrate the release of my book. Why don’t you drop by?”

“I have somewhere to be later tonight,” I remember. “But I’ll try and make an appearance.” I owe her, after all.

“Please do, Patrick. I’d like it. Now, I have to get back to the office.”

“And I have to go to work.” I raise my arm to hail a cab that’s driving by for Emma and open the door for her.

“Thank you, Patrick. I’ll see you tonight.”

“Definitely. Thanks for all your advice, Emma.”

“You’re very welcome. It will all work out, Patrick. You just have to give it some time.”

I shut the door and put my hands in my pockets, watching the cab drive away.

I hope she’s right, but it’s easy for Emma to be confident.

Her heart isn’t going to be the one that’s broken if things don’t go my way.

**Bonnie**

Once Patrick is gone and Emma is taken care of, I head into the back to talk to Robin.

I decide not to pull any punches.

“What the fuck was that?” I wonder, crossing my arms and leaning against her desk. She’s curled up on the couch hugging her knees looking like the world just crashed down around her.

“You’ll have to ask Patrick that question,” she mumbles, steadfastly avoiding my gaze.

“That’s not the part I’m talking about and you know it.”

When she doesn’t answer, I sigh.

“Robin, I don’t understand. You have been waiting five and a half years for Patrick to realize that you love him. Now he’s finally giving you a chance and all you have to say is that you can’t?”

“Did you know he was going to do that?” she snaps, ignoring my question.

“Of course I didn’t! Why would you think that?”

“You baited him,” she accuses.

“Oh, right, that. I was just trying to see if he was still single so you could talk to him. As for the what kind of woman thing, I just thought you could use his answer to your advantage. I had no idea that he was going to go all romantic comedy on you.”

She finally looks at me. “Sorry,” she apologizes shortly.

I know she means it, so I let it go. I can’t blame her for being upset. He really threw her for a loop out there.

“It’s okay, Robin. I get that you’re reeling. I just don’t get why you said no. You were having such a good time.”

She puts her head in her hands, clearly frustrated. “What else am I supposed to say, Bonnie? I’ve been trying to get Patrick to see me romantically for five and a half years. Yesterday, I finally decided to let it go. There’s too much baggage about everything that happened with Sophia. I was enjoying myself because I thought I had my friend back, so it would figure that now he just expects me to fall into his arms.”

“Isn’t that what you want?”

“I thought it was.” She would sound resigned to anyone else, but I’ve known her for too long. She’s definitely conflicted.

I push a bit. “So you don’t love him anymore?”

She lifts her head and I see that she’s started to cry.

“I’ll always love him, Bonnie. No matter how much I might not want to, I can’t change the way I feel.”

“Okay. So what’s the problem? Just talk to him.”

“It’s not that easy. And I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I was finally trying to move past it all.”

I shrug. “All right. I’m here when you’re ready.”

I slip out of the office and head outside to take my break, dialing Emma’s number on the way.

She agrees that Patrick and Robin just need to talk and tells me about her book release party. I’d love to go anyway, regardless of the circumstances, so I promise to get Robin onboard. I know she won’t refuse Emma’s request; she’s too polite.

This is far from over, and I am going to do whatever I can to fix it.

Robin deserves to be happy, and despite the fact that Patrick is definitely one of the densest guys I’ve ever met, I know he’ll make her happy.

She just has to let him.


	12. Everything I Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick and Robin both attend Emma’s party.

**Robin**

I smooth my dress one more time, smiling as Emma comes over to me.

The last thing I want is to be at a party smiling. I’d rather be at home doing something cliché like crying into a tub of ice cream.

But I have somewhere else to be later tonight, anyway, so I can’t wallow. That will have to wait until later.

Emma loops her arm through mine and drags me to the bathroom. “I just want to talk for a few minutes,” she tells me.

I shake my head. “Emma, it’s all right. I appreciate it, but this is your party. You should be mingling and having fun.”

“Oh, there’s plenty of time for that. For now, I want to ask you why you said no to Patrick when I know you love him.”

I blink, crossing my arms over my chest and staring at her. It’s not fair to be upset with her, so I’m trying not to be.

“What makes you think that?” I wonder. She can’t possibly remember my call. She gets dozens of calls.

“I remember you from my show, Robin.”

Well. So much for that theory.

I sigh. “I didn’t think you’d realize.”

She shrugs. “Normally, I wouldn’t, to be honest. But you made an impression.”

I snort. “Because of how pathetic I was?”

“It’s not pathetic to be in love, Robin,” Emma assures me. “And your situation is more complicated than most. Patrick told me about Sophia when he confessed to the accidental marriage, and I remembered her call too.”

“Did you tell Patrick about my call?” I ask quietly.

Emma shakes her head. “No, I didn’t want to do that. I gave him some advice about talking to you. He… went a bit overboard.”

“Well, that’s Patrick,” I admit. “He’s a hopelessly helpless romantic. The kind of advice you give doesn’t really make much of an impression on him.”

“Do you still love him?” she wonders bluntly.

“Yes, but it doesn’t matter. Excuse me.” I turn, heading out of the bathroom, ignoring Emma as she calls after me.

“Where are you going, Robin?”

“Somewhere where no one will force me to talk about this,” I spit out.

I’m so focused on getting away from Emma that I’m not paying attention to where I’m going. I’m halfway to the door when I run right into someone.

I look up to apologize, but the words die on my lips as I realize that it’s Patrick.

What is he doing here?

I bite my lip angrily as I realize that Bonnie and Emma must have planned this.

“Hey,” Patrick says. He’s clearly happy to see me, but his arms shake as he puts them around me and leans in to kiss my cheek.

I have to fight not to cry as his lips linger on my skin. He’s in his soccer clothes; he must have come from practice.

He smells like grass and sweat. It’s a smell I love. I can’t count how many times I’ve fantasized about coming home from a game with Patrick and having him teasingly suggest that he make me sweaty too.

“I really need you tonight,” Patrick blurts out, pulling back so he can look into my eyes.

Before I can reply, he corrects himself. “To talk to you, I mean, Robin. I mean, I mean it the other way too, but talking comes first.”

I avoid his request, even though I know he’s right. We do need to talk. “We have Ajay’s party tonight,” I remind him.

“I know. I have to go home and change, but we’ll both be there. We can talk after. Please, Robin. Please.”

Emma finally catches up to me. “Oh, Patrick, hi! It’s so nice to see you. Listen, I’d like to invite both of you to stay for a private dinner with a few other party guests.”

“Emma, we have another party we have to get to…” I start, but she cuts me off.

“Stay as long as you can, then! I insist.”

We don’t get a chance to answer before she’s disappeared.

“I know you don’t want to disappoint her,” Patrick acknowledges. “Stay. Have fun and go to dinner. I’ll come back as soon as I can and we can go to Ajay’s party together, okay?”

I don’t know what to say. I want to talk to him and I don’t. I want to spend time with him and I don’t. I’m so torn, and when he’s standing here holding me smelling so good, I can’t untangle all of my thoughts.

“Patrick, I…”

Suddenly, he pulls me into the tightest hug he’s ever given me. I bury my face in his chest and breathe in deeply, sliding my arms around him underneath his jacket.

“Please stay, Robin,” he begs. “Please wait for me. Please. I love you, Robin, and I know I keep screwing up, but I need you to give me a chance to explain. Please.”

He kisses my temple, holding onto me for just a little longer before he reluctantly lets me go.

I don’t say anything. I just stare at him.

He smiles sadly, then heads home to change.

I don’t move, even once he’s gone. I just stand in the middle of the party, trying to decide what to do.

He said it.

He said he loves me.

He’s said it to me before, of course, but he’s never meant it the way he did just now.

It should make me feel better. I should be over the moon.

Instead, everything just seems harder than it already was.


	13. Everything to Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick tries again.

**Patrick**

I take a deep breath before walking into the restaurant where Emma is having her private dinner.

I’m really hoping that Robin stayed. I know she won’t miss Ajay’s party, so I’ll see her later either way, but I asked her to wait, and if she did, I think that has to be a good sign.

I round the corner and spot Emma’s table.

Robin is there. She’s smiling and nodding and talking to everyone, but I can tell that she’s uncomfortable.

A wave of relief washes over me as I approach the table. Robin gasps when she sees me, but relaxes a bit when I rest my hands on her shoulders and squeeze them gently.

My skin tingles whenever I touch her.

I just want her to be mine.

“Oh, hello, Patrick!” Emma greets me cheerfully. “Please join us for dessert.”

I smile at everyone. “That’s very kind of you, Emma, and I appreciate the invitation. But I’m just here to get Robin.”

Robin reaches up and grabs my hand in hers, squeezing my fingers. My heart flutters and my cheeks get warm.

“See, we’ve got this family thing,” I continue, “and where we come from, family comes first.”

Robin’s grip gets tighter and I lean down to press a quick, soft kiss to her cheek. When I look back up, I smile again. “But the good news is that you’re all invited to the party. It’s going to be a lot of fun.”

On the way, I explain that we’re going to Ajay’s Upanayana. It’s sort of a coming of age ceremony that signifies the maturation of the mind and spirit, and Ajay asked me to be a part of his. I’m really honored that he wants me here; I’ve been looking forward to this night.

Ironically, it’s fortuitous that I cancelled my wedding. Ajay’s family moved the party up by a few weeks when they had a problem with the venue, and if things had gone as planned, Sophia and I would have been on our honeymoon right now.

Robin stops to give Ajay a hug as we all make our way to the stairs. “Congratulations, kiddo,” she tells him. “I’m so proud of you.”

I hug him too, letting my hand graze over the small of Robin’s back at the same time.

Sophia hated the Samosa Palace, the Indian restaurant I live above. Ajay’s family owns it. They’ve always treated me like one of them and not just the guy next door.

Robin loves the Palace. We used to eat there all the time. She loves spending time with everyone there, and they love her too.

It’s just one more reason why I should have figured all of this out sooner.

Sunny, Ajay’s mother, delicately places a red Bindi on Robin’s forehead before she goes inside.

The Bindi is supposed to open someone’s third eye and reveal their concealed wisdom.

I don’t know how much I believe in stuff like that, but maybe it will work.

The ceremony goes smoothly. Robin stays with Emma and her guests to be polite, but once I’m done, I make my way over to her.

She and the other women are getting mehndi, intricate designs done in paste, painted on their hands and wrists.

“Check your mehndi for hidden messages, ladies,” I tease. “See, it’s part of the tradition. Back when marriages were arranged, the groom would search his bride’s painted body on their wedding night just to find his initials.”

Emma and her guests laugh. Robin blushes and stares at her hands shyly.

People have started dancing, so I reach out to her tentatively. “Dance with me?” I request.

She hesitates for just a moment, then takes my hand and follows me out to the dance floor.

The song playing is fast, so Robin dances enthusiastically, moving her hands over her head just like Sunny taught her on several occasions when we had dinner in the restaurant with her family. I dance along with her, my eyes locked on her face as she smiles happily.

She’s the most perfect woman in the world, and I feel another pang of guilt as I wonder how it took me so long to see it.

She’s so warm and kind, and she throws herself wholeheartedly into the things she loves. She always puts other people before herself, like she is now. Emotionally, I know she must be having a hard time, but she’s here for Ajay and his family, and hardly anyone would notice that anything is wrong.

As a slower song starts, I draw her gently into my arms, holding her tightly against my body and dropping my mouth to her ear.

“I’m sorry about earlier today, Robin,” I murmur. “I should have talked to you privately. I got caught up and I was trying to be romantic and I put too much pressure on you.”

She’s tense, but I go on, rubbing her back soothingly. “I just love you so much, Robin,” I confess. “And I’m so angry at myself for never realizing it. I meant what I said. If you can just forgive me, I’ll spend the rest of our lives making it up to you. Please, Robin. All I need is a chance.”

She tips her head back so she can gaze up at me. For once, I can’t tell what she’s thinking, and that scares me. Usually I can read her like a book.

Well, I thought I could, anyway.

My heart is pounding nervously, but I seize the moment.

Maybe she’ll understand if I kiss her.

Ever since I realized that I love her, all I’ve wanted is to feel her lips against mine.

I lean in slowly.

Just before our lips touch, Robin pulls away.

“Patrick, I told you I can’t,” she repeats. “I have to go.”

**Robin**

I rush out of the party as fast as I can without drawing too much attention.

Patrick doesn’t come after me.

Once I’m back in my apartment, I draw a bath that’s as close to too hot as I can stand sitting in and try to think.

I’m disappointed that he didn’t come after me.

But why?

I’ve resisted him twice now. How many more times do I expect him to try?

Maybe as many times as I did.

How bitter and petty is that?

I love Patrick. Nothing that happens will ever change that.

So why don’t I just say yes? Why can’t I put aside my pride and my guilt and just let him in?

I have dreamed about what it would be like to kiss Patrick for years. I was so close.

Will I really be able to live with myself if I ruin this?

I don’t have any answers, so I distract myself by scrubbing at my mehndi. It’s not the easiest paint to get off, so I have to work at it a bit.

As my fingers ghost over my left wrist, my breath catches in my throat.

There are initials inscribed on my skin.

_PTS_.

**Patrick**

I head home and change, but I can’t sleep.

I just keep thinking about Robin.

How can I fix this?

I’m almost desperate for an answer, but I feel like I’m running out of things to try.

I start to cry as I realize that there’s really only one explanation left.

It’s so simple, but I hadn’t wanted to believe it was true.

Maybe Robin just doesn’t love me anymore.

I know she did once.

But how long can you really wait for someone to realize that you love them before you just give up?

I’m going crazy without her, and it’s only been a day since I realized I had feelings for her.

She’s been waiting for five and a half years.

That’s when I realize that I can’t give up yet.

She tried so many times to tell me that she loved me. I’ve tried twice.

That’s not even close to enough.

I wander into my bathroom to grab some tissues and spot Emma’s book on the counter. I took a copy of it from the party without realizing.

Normally I wouldn’t read a book like this, but maybe it will give me the answers I’m looking for.


	14. Put Your Hand in Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick and Robin both get angry.

**Patrick**

I walk into Emma’s office, dialing her show’s number on my phone.

I’ve got her book with me. I stayed up all night and read it cover to cover.

It turns out the whole thing is a ridiculous crock.

If this is the kind of advice Robin is getting, no wonder she’s resisting me.

I’m surprised when my call gets put through.

“Hi, you’re on the air,” Emma announces brightly.

“Yeah, I’m reading your book, Dr. Lloyd,” I start sarcastically. “Would you call this a self-help book or does that term offend?”

Emma is silent for a moment. She obviously recognizes my voice. “Not in the least,” she responds quickly, recovering.

“Who does it help, exactly?” I ask.

“Well, it…”

I interrupt her by banging on the window of her studio. She looks at me in shock.

“See, the thing is, I haven’t gotten to the helpful part yet.”

She glares at me. “Perhaps you’re a slow reader.”

I know it’s immature of me to be upset with her. In fact, her book lists that immaturity as one of the reasons I’m not a good choice as a partner.

Among many other things.

But I can’t help it.

I forgave her for Sophia because our break-up turned out to be a good thing.

But now Robin’s at stake, and I can’t stand the thought of her thinking of me the way Emma’s book says to.

“No, you see, it doesn’t tell you how to find somebody to love or how you get somebody to love you back. All it does is tell you what’s wrong with the person you’re in love with, and to me, well, that’s not very helpful.”

“Well, perhaps it is you who are wrong for the person you think you are right for,” Emma snaps. “Did you think of that, caller?”

“What is it you think you know about me that would make you say that?” I retort.

She doesn’t know me. She doesn’t know how I feel. She doesn’t know what being with me would be like.

“I don’t know anything about you!” she admits.

“Yeah, you bet you don’t.”

“That’s right, I don’t. But since you called, here’s some advice. Maybe instead of blaming others for your problems, you should consider looking at yourself.”

“I’m looking right at my problem,” I disagree.

“Well, stop fogging up the mirror!” She throws a pen at the window and I laugh, pleased to have gotten under her skin.

It’s about time someone did, in my opinion.

I was her last caller, so she joins me in the hallway. “What are you doing here, Patrick? And what was that?”

“I came by to tell you that Ajay erased our accidental marriage. It’s like it never happened.”

“I appreciate that, but that doesn’t explain your call.”

I hold up her book, slipping my phone back into my pocket. “Did you tell Robin that I’m not any good for her? Because that’s what your damn book says! That I’m unrealistic because I’m passionate and romantic and want the fairy tale. That I’m emotionally immature because I’ve dated so many different people and can’t stay in love. That I’m not responsible because I play sports and don’t own a house. That I’m not an adult because of my hobbies.”

I’m on a roll now, so I keep going. “You have no idea what I’d be like in a relationship, Emma. You said so yourself. If Robin was mine, I would give her everything she wanted and needed. I would always put her first. And yes, I would be romantic. I would send her huge bouquets of flowers on Valentine’s Day and pick out presents that I know she’d like for every special occasion, no matter how stupid it was. I would love her, Emma. And if you’ve told her I can’t do that…”

Now she cuts me off. “I haven’t said anything to Robin, Patrick, but now that you mention it, I think a woman would have to be pretty crazy to want you. You have horrible manners, and you’re acting like an absolute child.”

She brushes past me, walking briskly. I whirl and follow her, but quickly stop in my tracks.

Robin is standing in the middle of the hallway.

Did she hear the call? She had to have heard everything I just told Emma. What is she thinking?

“I left the samples you asked for for Richard in your office, Emma,” Robin informs her hurriedly. “Sorry that I can’t stay.”

She turns and practically starts running to the elevator.

“Robin, wait!” I call, completely forgetting about Emma as I take off after her.

**Robin**

I ignore Patrick’s request, stopping in front of the elevator and hitting the button repeatedly, willing it to come fast so I can avoid him.

I barely slept last night. This is not what I need.

I haven’t figured anything out yet. I am not prepared to talk to Patrick.

“Robin!” Patrick catches up to me before the elevator arrives and I sigh.

“I can’t talk now, Patrick. Bonnie needs me back at the bakery.”

“Can you just talk to me for five seconds instead of running away, please? I’m tired of chasing you!”

I snort. At least I don’t have to figure anything out to respond to that.

“You’re tired of chasing me, Patrick? Really? I’ve been chasing you for five and a half fucking years!”

He grabs my arm. “And I said I was sorry about that! I can’t say anything else, Robin! I can’t go back in time! And if we’re going to start throwing accusations around, you never actually told me! You just kept it to yourself all this time!”

“Can you blame me, Patrick?!” I yell back. “All the girlfriends you went through? All those women who tossed you aside? Do you think I wanted to throw our friendship away by becoming another notch on your bedpost?!”

It’s one of the cruelest things I could possibly say to him, and I don’t really mean it, but right now I want him to leave me alone.

“You think that’s what I want you to be? A notch on my bedpost?” To my surprise, he holds up Emma’s book. “You think I’m the kind of wrong man Emma talks about in this stupid thing? Because I’ve been flipping through it and I think it is so full of crap. How can you trust this?”

The elevator finally opens and I step into it, avoiding his question. He follows me, of course.

“And I took the compatibility quiz,” he continues hotly. “According to it, I am wholly unsuitable for anyone.”

He knows I heard everything he said to Emma, but obviously he thinks this point is worth repeating.

I just can’t do this right now. If I keep talking, I’ll say more things I don’t really mean. I put my head down and bite my lip so I’ll stay quiet.

The elevator opens on the next floor. Patrick pushes his way past me and pulls out his badge.

“New York City Fire Department, ladies and gentlemen. Official business. Please exit the elevator.”

“Patrick, what are you doing?” I protest. He steps back into the elevator and shuts the doors so that we’re alone.

“Unsuitable?” he spits out. “Is that really what you think of me?”

I blink at him.

I could answer the question. I could tell him the truth.

I think he’s the most suitable man in the world. The only man I ever want to be with. The only man who could ever make me happy.

But deep down in the most broken part of my soul, I want him to feel what I’ve felt for five and a half years.

I want him to understand what it’s really like to know that the person you want so desperately doesn’t want you.

I heard his entire call to Emma, so I know he’s already there.

He won’t feel it for as long as I did, but the vindictive side of me insists that he deserves a taste.

Patrick’s eyes narrow as I remain stubbornly silent.

He licks his lips. “You want to see unsuitable?” he whispers.

Then he cups my face in his hands and kisses me.


	15. Together We'll Climb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick gives Robin a choice.

**Patrick**

As I kiss Robin, I can’t help but wonder if I’m making a huge mistake.

I just couldn’t think of anything else to say. This is the only thing I’ve got left.

Right now, we’re only hurting each other, and even if nothing else happens, that has to stop.

I don’t kiss her for that long, even though I want to. I pull back to look at her face to gauge her reaction.

She gazes at me for maybe a second and then she’s kissing me back.

I gasp into her mouth, holding her face in my hands and pressing her into the corner of the elevator.

I can feel her blushing against my skin, and she’s making the most beautiful little noises of pleasure as she wraps her arms around my neck and sinks her fingers into my hair.

I loop one arm around her waist as I fumble for my fireman’s key. When I find it, I drag Robin to the elevator box as she kisses my neck and giggles. “What are you doing?” she asks breathlessly.

I grin as I turn it and the elevator stops. I unhook the ring from my belt so I can push her back into the corner and kiss her again. I brace my hands against the elevator wall so I can get as close to her as possible; she frames my face with her fingers so I can’t pull away.

The kiss lasts forever and no time at all.

I know that I never want to kiss anyone else for the rest of my life.

We only part a second time when a voice crackles over the elevator intercom. “Excuse me, sir? Ma’am?”

Robin hugs me and starts to laugh uproariously as the voice continues, “I’m going to have to ask you to please stop what you’re doing and come down to the lobby immediately.”

I pull my key free and grab Robin for another kiss.

“Stop it! Stop it now, please!” the voice commands.

The elevator starts to move. When it opens, I step out, tugging Robin with me, kissing her one more time. Then I take her hand and we run up the few flights of stairs left before the roof.

She’s breathing heavily, beaming excitedly as I come to a stop by the edge of the building. Robin shivers and tenses and I instantly gather her into my arms; it’s cold up here, and I also know that she’s afraid of heights.

I stare down at her. I can’t remember the last time I saw her this happy. Her eyes are sparkling and her cheeks are pink and her smile is enormous.

“Sorry about that,” I find myself apologizing.

“Which part, exactly?” she wonders quietly. I smile and smooth a loose strand of hair over her ear.

“Kissing you thing,” I murmur sheepishly. “I couldn’t think of anything else to do.”

“Oh, we just got caught up.”

“Carried away.”

“Lost our heads.”

She’s looking at me like I’m the whole world.

I want to be.

I bend my head and kiss her again. She lets me, moving her lips slowly against mine.

When the kiss ends, she hugs me tightly and sniffles. I can tell that she’s trying not to cry.

I rock her back and forth soothingly, stroking her hair. “I know I screwed up, Robin. I really am sorry. I can’t say that enough.”

I pause for a moment in case she wants to stop me, but she just snuggles closer and says, “I’m listening.”

“Okay.” I take a deep breath. “Look, it’s just that, well, you’re my best friend. So I have a vested interest in seeing you happy.”

She nods. “I want to be happy.”

“Good.”

“What is happiness, anyway?” She’s crying softly against me and it’s breaking my heart.

“I know,” I tell her.

I push her back gently, still hanging onto her shoulders, wiping her tears away with my thumbs.

“I’ve made this unbelievably hard for both of us, Robin. I’m sorry. But here’s the thing. Whatever happened in the past, I love you now. That’s all I’ve got. So if there’s even a small possibility that we could make this work, I want to. I’ll do anything.”

I pull her back to me, kissing her forehead soothingly. “If there’s a chance, come to my apartment tonight. If you don’t show up, I’ll leave it alone. I’ll never mention it again. Somehow, I’ll move on.”

I feel sick to my stomach at the thought of her not showing up, but I can’t make her want this. She has to want it for herself.

“Please come, Robin,” I beg. “Please.”

She doesn’t say anything.

We just stand there on the roof, clinging to each other.

Everything hangs on tonight.

Tonight, she’s either going to be mine, or I have to let her go.


	16. High as the Highest Star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin chooses Patrick.

**Robin**

My lips tingle all the way back to the bakery.

When I get there, I only stay long enough to tell Bonnie I’m taking the rest of the day off.

“Is my real boss safe on your home planet?” she jokes.

I smile and thank her, then walk slowly to Patrick’s apartment.

I can’t wait until tonight.

I don’t know why I left Emma’s building at all. I suppose it’s good that I took some time after the kiss to be away from Patrick and really think through my decision clearly.

I’m about halfway there when it starts to rain. I let myself get soaked, even though I start to shiver.

When I open the door to the Samosa Palace, Sunny immediately starts fussing over me, talking about how wet I am and how she wants me to eat something.

Deep, her husband, slams his hand down on the table. “Quiet!” he exclaims. “Can’t you see that she’s not here to eat or watch telly or chit-chat? She’s come for the man she loves,” he sighs dreamily. “You’re standing in the way of true love! Stand aside, I say!”

I laugh and give him a quick hug. Deep is dramatic about everything; I’ve always found it very endearing. “Thank you, Deep.”

As I part the beads hanging over the doorway and head up the stairs to Patrick’s apartment, I realize that his door is already open and he’s waiting for me.

“You came.”

I shrug as I start to cry again. “I love you, Patrick.”

Five and a half years of weight disappear from my shoulders as I fall into his arms.

I’m finally where I belong.

Patrick carefully pulls me into his apartment and shuts the door. “Let me get you some dry clothes,” he offers.

I cling to him when he tries to move away. “Please don’t go,” I beg.

He holds me tighter. “I’m right here, Robin.”

“I’m sorry, Patrick,” I sob. “I’m so, so sorry. You were right. I should have told you. I should have told you so many times. I love you, and I don’t think you’re unsuitable. I think you’re perfect, and I don’t care what anyone else says.”

I look up at him. I know I’m a mess. I’m wet and I’m crying and I’m shaking. But now that the words are pouring out of me, I can’t stop them.

“I’m sorry I’ve been pushing you away, Patrick. I’m just afraid,” I confess. “I’ve wanted this for so long, and I’m afraid that something is going to happen to ruin it. I can’t hurt anymore. I’m so tired of hurting. I’m so tired of feeling guilty.”

“Guilty?” Patrick wonders.

“I ruined your marriage, Patrick,” I point out. “Sophia left you because of me.”

Patrick pushes my wet jacket to the floor as he shakes his head. “No, Robin. She didn’t. What happened between us wasn’t your fault.”

I’d expected him to say that, but it doesn’t change the truth.

Even so, I shove it aside for the moment.

Right now, all I want is him.

I pull my damp bakery t-shirt over my head, exposing my bra.

Now Patrick is starting to cry. “Robin, I need to tell you something.”

“What?”

I stare at him, and I can tell by his expression that the desire I’ve always felt is finally written on my face.

“It can wait,” he decides.

He slides his big, warm hand over my cheek and kisses me.

I put my arms around his neck and moan into his mouth. A surprised gasp escapes my lips as he lifts me up into his arms and carries me to his bedroom.

**Patrick**

She came.

I was so afraid she wouldn’t come.

And she loves me. There are important things I still need to tell her, but that’s all that really matters.

She loves me, and I love her.

We love each other.

I set her down on the edge of my bed, keeping my arms around her as she clings to my neck.

“Patrick, I don’t know what to do,” she admits. “I’m a virgin.”

“I remember, Robin.” She had been so embarrassed when I asked her for sex advice and she told me why she didn’t have any, but I thought it was sweet that she wanted to wait for someone special.

I feel another pang of guilt as I realize that she’s been waiting for me.

“You just let me take care of you,” I reassure her.

I kneel down in front of her, carefully peeling off her flats and setting them aside. She’s freezing cold, so the first thing I want to do is get her warm.

“Wait here, Robin.” She nods as I go grab a towel from the bathroom. I toss it into the dryer for a minute, then drape it around her shoulders when I get back to the bedroom.

She shudders as the hot fabric touches her damp skin. I deftly undo her hair, rubbing it dry with the towel, then tug her leggings free before running it over her thighs and calves.

When I reach for her bra, she shies away, blushing furiously.

“No one’s ever seen me naked,” she reveals.

I grin. “Me first, then.”

Robin watches, her eyes wide with fascination as I remove my sweater and start to unbutton my jeans.

She inhales sharply when I push them down and reveal that I’m wearing nothing beneath them.

I hold out my hands and she takes them, standing up and stepping closer to me, the towel still wrapped around her shoulders. I kiss her cheek as I slowly undo her bra, dropping it on the floor and pulling the towel over her chest, rubbing her gently.

Her breasts are heavy and full in my hands. My breathing deepens as I start to get hard.

“You’re stunning, Robin.” I glide my fingers down her sides and slip them into the waistband of her panties. “Gorgeous.” She steps out of her underwear as it falls to her ankles and I finish drying her off.

“Thanks, Patrick. I’m warmer now.”

I can tell. Her pale skin is slowly flushing pink all over.

She takes a shaky breath as I lift her up into my arms again, kissing her softly before putting her back in the bed, leaning her against the headboard this time.

“Let’s get you even warmer,” I suggest.

**Robin**

I slip my legs between Patrick’s sheets, my stomach fluttering nervously. He gets into the bed next to me, turning onto his side and pulling me into his chest. I can’t help sinking into his body; he’s warm and soft and solid.

Our legs tangle together and I tense as I feel Patrick’s erection against my thigh. He wraps an arm around my shoulders and kisses me tenderly.

“Hey.” He brushes his nose over mine. “We don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with, Robin. I want you, but there’s no rush. We have time.”

I laugh briefly. “I’ve wanted this for five and a half year years, Patrick. I’m just worried that I won’t be enough for you.”

Patrick smiles at me and his eyes fill with tears. “You’re more than enough for me, Robin. I’m so sorry that it took me so long to realize.”

I run my fingers through his hair comfortingly. “You have to stop apologizing for that,” I tell him quietly. “We both made mistakes, Patrick. But if we’re going to be together, we have to look ahead, not back. If we keep dwelling on the past, we’ll never be happy.”

“Then let me tell you what I want our future to look like,” Patrick murmurs. He cups my cheek in his hand and runs his thumb over my lips as he speaks. “I want to marry you and have a huge wedding and invite everyone we know. I want to watch you walk down the aisle toward me wearing the most beautiful dress anyone has ever seen. Then I want to take you on an extravagant honeymoon. We’ll go anywhere you want, see anything you want to see, and every night we’ll try and make our first baby.”

He pauses as his cheeks flush. “I want to have a big family with you, Robin. And I promise that I will cherish you like you deserve. I am never going to hurt you again. I will give you the most perfect life that I can. And it starts right now. It starts tonight.” He gives me a soft, sweet kiss, and I can feel him trembling.

I was so scared of coming here. I was scared of the guilt. I was scared of the risk. I was scared of my own feelings.

But hearing Patrick tell me what he wants for us warms my soul, and suddenly I’m not scared anymore.

“I love you, Patrick. I love you with my whole heart, more than I ever thought I could love anyone.” I look into his eyes and wrap myself tightly around him, holding him as close as I can. “I’m sorry I kept it from you for so long. I should have told you the moment that I knew. I should have begged you to choose me and avoided all this hurt. But I hope that we can use everything we went through to appreciate the time we finally have together.”

“I love you too, Robin,” Patrick answers, running his fingers through my hair. “And I’m going to remind you every day for the rest of our lives.”

**Patrick**

The whole time we’ve been lying together, I’ve been pulsing against her. I want her so badly. I feel like it’s the last step I need to take to really make her mine.

So when she buries her face in my neck and shyly asks me to make love to her, I am more than happy to oblige.

I roll her onto her back, running my hands over the soft curves of her body as she draws my face down to hers and begins kissing me desperately.

There’s five and a half years of pining in her kisses. I can tell that she’s memorizing the way I feel and taste, tucking me away in her secret places.

“I’m not going anywhere, Robin,” I whisper against her lips. “You’re always going to have me now.”

She sighs happily and kisses me harder. When our mouths part, I start to kiss my way down her neck, wanting to hear the noises she makes as I enter her.

I make sure to go slow. “Oh, Robin,” I groan softly. She gasps and her thighs twitch against mine as her hands grip my shoulders.

She feels amazing. She’s hot and tight and wet around me, and she’s fluttering with anticipation. I squeeze her breasts, kissing my way down to them. “I’m not hurting you, am I, sweetheart?”

I glance up at her as she shakes her head. Her face is flushed and her lips are parted, and her hair is sticking to her cheeks. Her entire body is quivering underneath me, and I slide my palms down her sides, holding her steady.

“It’s all right, Robin,” I soothe her. “It’s all right. Calm down, sweetheart. I’m here.”

She starts to roll her hips eagerly, crying out ecstatically as our bellies meet in a sensual rhythm. “Oh, Patrick!” she pants. “Oh, yes, Patrick!” She rears up, tightening her legs around me, pulling me closer, pressing her face into my shoulder as she whimpers in satisfaction.

After that, I can’t speak anymore. There are so many things I want to do with her, to her, but all I can concentrate on right now is rocking into her. My pace is perfect. I’m being slow and steady, and as gentle as I can. I don’t want to be too rough with her for her first time.

I thought I’d made love before, but I was wrong.

I’ve never felt anything like this.

Being inside her is like finally being whole. I feel surrounded by her love and devotion.

I have been ever since I met her. I just didn’t understand it.

But now I know what love really, truly is, and I am never letting it go.

**Robin**

All I can say is his name, over and over.

He shivers every time it slips from my lips.

I feel my back arch. My toes curl and I sink my fingers into his hair as I start to come.

Patrick gasps shakily, sinking deep into my body one more time, clinging to me as he fills me with warmth.

It’s transcendent.

It’s divine.

It’s more than I ever imagined it could be.

The past five and a half years fade into distant memory.

I forget the pain. I forget the anger. But the want just intensifies.

I want him more than I ever have before.

And I know that I will keep wanting him more and more until the day that I die.

Patrick’s fingers graze my face, and I open my eyes so I can stare up into his.

We kiss with our eyes open, never looking away from each other.

“I love you, Patrick.” I feel like I can’t say it enough. I’ve been keeping it in for so long, and now the words can finally fly free.

“I love you, Robin.”

Then we’re kissing again, and he’s rocking again, and I’m lost in pleasure once more.


	17. Living the Lifetime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick and Robin receive an unexpected visitor.

**Robin**

I wake up slowly. I’m afraid to open my eyes. I’m afraid that my night with Patrick was a dream.

Finally, I open them, and see that it wasn’t.

I’m lying in his arms, and his nose is resting lightly against my forehead.

I smile giddily, snuggling closer and kissing his warm skin. Patrick laughs as he starts to wake up, then cups my face in his hands and kisses me.

“Good morning, love of my life,” he murmurs. I blush happily and he gently rolls me underneath him. “Let me show you how I’m going to wake you up every day from now on.”

We make love and then he gets in the shower while I start breakfast.

I’m sliding a plate full of pancakes into the oven to stay warm when there’s a knock on his door.

“Can you get that, babe?” Patrick calls from the shower.

“Sure!” I’m wearing his FDNY sweatshirt, so I skip into the bedroom to grab my leggings, pulling them on as I walk to the front of the apartment.

Whoever it is knocks again. “Coming!” I holler, snapping my leggings into place and pulling the door open.

My heart drops into my stomach when I see that it’s Sophia.

“What are you doing here?” I whisper.

She looks me up and down, then laughs bitterly. “Didn’t take you long, did it, you little homewrecker?”

“Who is it, babe?” Patrick asks as he comes into the living room. He stops in his tracks when he sees Sophia.

I hang my head, unable to look at him.

She’s right. I told Patrick last night. He said it wasn’t my fault, but I know she’s right.

I stumble past Sophia and down Patrick’s stairs as I start to cry.

How did I ever think this could work?

I waited too long. I made too many mistakes.

The truth is that I just don’t deserve Patrick.

Not after everything I’ve done.

**Patrick**

I stand still for a moment, completely stunned.

Then I’m running past Sophia, flying down the stairs after Robin.

She thinks she’s the reason Sophia and I split up. I was going to tell her the truth last night, but she was so beautiful and I wanted her so much that I thought it could wait.

Why did I wait?

I reach the street, looking both ways frantically.

I don’t see her. Where did she go?

“Robin! Robin! Robin, please, come back!” I run my hands through my hair, trying to figure out what to do.

Finally, I just start to cry.

I had her. She was mine. Being with her last night was the most wonderful thing I’ve ever experienced.

How could I let her leave like this?

I have to think. Go upstairs, get my phone, call Bonnie. Robin probably went to the bakery. If I can just find her and explain, I can fix this and everything will be okay.

I need it to be okay.

I need her.

I turn to go back into my apartment, but before I can, Sophia is standing in front of me.

“How long?” she wonders. “How long were you with her behind my back?”

The question makes me angry, and I am done being patient.

“I was never with anyone behind your back, Sophia!” I yell. “And you know it! Nothing ever happened between me and anyone else when we were together! I loved you! I bent over backwards to make you happy, and you never cared! I would have spent the rest of my life with you, Sophia! Don’t be angry because she loves me just because you can’t understand why anyone would!”

“Don’t act like you’re perfect, Patrick,” she retorts. “You’re not the huge catch you seem to think you are.”

“I never said I was perfect, Sophia! I never said I was a catch! I tried to be! I tried to be exactly what you wanted, and it was never good enough! And that’s fine! I can deal with that! Go be happy with someone else, but leave me and Robin alone!”

I feel so guilty. I didn’t even know I loved her. Someone else had to point it out to me.

And now that all I want is her, it’s like the universe is conspiring against me to ruin it.

I take a deep breath and try to calm down. This is just wasting time. I don’t want to fight with Sophia. I just want to find Robin and make sure she’s all right.

“Don’t come here again,” I tell Sophia.

“I came to get the things I left here,” she protests.

“I’ll send them to you,” I grind out. “Leave.”

Upstairs, I take a minute to collect myself, then get ready.

I am going to find Robin, and I am going to make this right.

**Robin**

I sit curled up in the back of the bus I hopped on outside of Patrick’s apartment.

I heard him come after me, but I just couldn’t face him.

Not knowing what I did.

At least I had one night with him. At least I can keep that in my heart forever, and no one can take it away from me.

I know he’s going to come looking for me. I have to find some place to go where he won’t think to look for me and figure out what to do.

I end up calling Emma. Patrick probably won’t think I’d go to her.

She very kindly invites me to stay for a few days.

She tries to get me to talk, but I don’t want to.

No amount of talking is going to fix what’s happened.

I just want to cry for the rest of my life.


	18. Every Minute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick tries to find Robin.

**Patrick**

It’s been three days, and I can’t find Robin anywhere.

She’s not answering her phone. She hasn’t been to her apartment. She hasn’t been to the bakery.

Bonnie’s assured me that she’s not hiding her, and I believe her. She was sorry for me when I told her what happened.

I don’t have any other ideas about where to look. Robin doesn’t have many places that she goes.

I’ve taken to sitting in the bakery all day just waiting to see if she’ll show up. This business has been the most important thing in her life for the past six years, and I know she won’t abandon it forever.

Of course, she knows I know that. If she wants to avoid me, she can.

If it was just that she didn’t want me, I might be able to give it up and move on.

But she’s letting her guilt drive her away from me. She loves me. I have no doubts about that.

I have to find her so I can tell her the truth. After that, what happens is up to her.

But I think if she hears what I have to say, she won’t feel guilty anymore.

Bonnie smiles at me sadly as she cleans up for the night, flipping on the radio to make the silence less awkward.

“You’re listening to _Real Love_ , with me, Dr. Emma Lloyd,” the radio says.

I sit up a little straighter.

I know where Robin is.

I flip open my phone and dial Emma’s show’s number.

**Robin**

I’m sitting in the studio with Emma, listening to her take calls. Most of them seem so silly. All of the problems are simple to resolve.

I wish mine was simple.

I don’t know why I’m still hiding. I know that I’ll have to talk to Patrick eventually. I’ve already stayed away from work longer than I wanted to, but I know he’ll be waiting for me there.

I just don’t know how to explain to him that I can’t get past the guilt. That no matter how he feels about me now, I can’t get over what I’ve done.

I wish something could change it, but I can’t think of anything that would convince me.

“We’ve got time for one more caller,” Emma announces brightly. “We’ve got…” Emma blinks and pauses, then glances at me. “Patrick of Astoria.”

I start to get up, shaking my head, but Emma grabs my wrist and makes me sit back down. “Just listen to him,” she whispers, then turns her microphone back on. “Patrick of Astoria,” she repeats. “What can I help you with tonight?”

Patrick’s voice is quiet. He sounds so tired and ragged, and I know that he’s hurting. I curl my arms around my legs and put my chin on my knees, burying my nose in the hood of his sweatshirt.

I’ve been wearing it since I ran out of his apartment. It smells like him. It gives me the only bit of comfort I’ve gotten since leaving him.

“Thanks for taking my call,” Patrick starts. “Okay. Um. There’s this girl that I’ve fallen for. She’s been my best friend for years. She was in love with me the whole time, but I never noticed. And, well, the trick is that I was engaged a while back, and she thinks she’s the reason that it broke up. It’s not true, but I haven’t been able to explain it to her yet, and now she’s hiding from me.”

I can tell that he’s starting to cry, and my heart practically stops. It kills me that I’m the one making him feel this way.

“I know she wants me,” he continues. “I want to make her happy. That’s all I want.”

“That’s very generous of you, Patrick of Astoria,” Emma responds softly, looking at me imploringly.

“If she’d just let me tell her this one other thing she doesn’t know, I think it could fix everything. I need to know how to get her to listen to me. I need to know how to get her to stand still for just a moment so I can explain that it was never her fault.”

“We’re almost out of time, Patrick,” Emma tells him reluctantly.

“I love her,” Patrick murmurs desperately. “I look at her and I see my whole life. And I know that she knows that, but I thought she should hear it one more time.”

Emma looks at me and mouths, “Talk to him, please.”

But I can’t.

I shake my head and she sighs.

“I’m afraid that’s all the time we have for tonight, caller,” she answers heavily.

“All right.” 

Those two words are laced with so much anguish. He’s hurting just like I hurt for the past five and a half years.

The call ends, and my heart breaks all over again.


	19. Staying Right Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma uses desperate measures to get Patrick and Robin to talk.

**Patrick**

I go home after calling Emma’s show. Somehow, I just know Robin was there. I know she was listening.

But she doesn’t want to talk, and I can’t make her.

Bonnie texts me the next morning and tells me she’s come back to work.

I expected her to. She has to make Emma’s cake. Her wedding is in two days.

I don’t respond. Robin has work to do, and the last thing I want is to make her run away from the business she’s worked so hard to build.

I sign up for extra shifts at work and leave Emma a message telling her that I can’t make it to her ceremony. It was kind of her to invite me, but I can’t go when I know that Robin will be there. I want to see her again, of course, but I wouldn’t make a scene like that and ruin Emma’s special day.

I can’t help wondering if I deserve this.

Robin waited for me for five years. Sure, she didn’t say anything, but only because she always had my feelings in mind.

So maybe I deserve to hurt. Maybe I deserve to have to wait. To ache for her every moment that she’s not here. To feel like nothing will ever be right until she’s in my arms.

I know she’s not vindictive enough to be doing this on purpose. She’s hurting too, and that’s so unfair that it makes me hurt more.

Maybe one day she’ll want to talk.

I’ll wait for her, no matter how long it takes.

**Robin**

Bonnie smiles at me, tucking an errant strand of my hair back into place. “The cake looks great, boss,” she says lightly.

I nod. “It turned out really well. I’m glad.”

It feels strange to be going to a wedding when I’m so miserable, but oh well. I promised I’d be there. And besides, I may as well hang around to hear everyone talk about how good the cake is.

“All right. Let’s load it up and get over there. We want to be set up before the reception starts.”

**Emma**

Bonnie sneaks into my room as Robin is setting up the cake. “She’s here, and she’s staying,” she confirms.

“Good. Let’s do this.”

I tried everything I could think of to get Robin to talk to Patrick, but she won’t.

So now it’s time to play dirty.

Bonnie helps me up onto the chair as I light a piece of paper on fire. “This will only set the sprinklers off in the chapel. Everywhere else will be fine,” I tell her.

“Good,” Bonnie laughs. “Forcing her to talk to Patrick is one thing. Messing up her cake is another.”

I grin and hold the flame against the sprinkler head until it sets the fire alarm off.

**Robin**

I’m relieved when the fire alarm doesn’t go off in the reception area. It would have been the end of my carefully crafted cake.

There doesn’t seem to actually be a fire, so hopefully everything will be all right. As I step outside with the other guests, I’m nervous for a moment.

What if Patrick’s truck shows up?

Then I remember that we’re not even in his station’s district. There’s no way he’ll be called out for this.

But when the truck arrives, I see him at the wheel.

I start to back up and Emma and Bonnie grab my shoulders. “You are talking to him,” they both insist.

I realize that they must have planned this.

It’s a good plan. I’m trapped.

I start to tear up. “I can’t,” I whimper. “Please, don’t make me.”

But it’s too late. He’s standing in front of me and everyone is watching us.

He touches my face gently. His gaze is so full of longing, and I feel my heart jump in my chest.

“How you doing, sweetheart?” he murmurs, clasping my hands in his and kissing my fingers.

“She has to talk to you,” Emma answers for me.

Patrick smiles at me with tears in his eyes. “You could have just called,” he points out. “So, what’s up?”

“Tell her the one thing,” Bonnie orders. “This is your chance.”

He nods. “Yeah, okay.”

**Patrick**

I’ve rehearsed this speech in my head so many times since the morning Robin ran away, but now that it’s finally time to give it, I find myself stumbling.

“Robin, you think Sophia broke up with me because of you,” I start slowly. “Because of what you heard her say on Emma’s show.”

Robin nods. Tears are starting to fall down her cheeks. I reach up and wipe them away gently with my thumb.

“It’s not true, sweetheart,” I assure her. “It’s not.”

I take a deep breath as I start to explain.

“I called Sophia the day she called the show. She told me it was over. But you know me. I couldn’t leave it like that. So I went to talk to her one more time.”

I can recall it all very vividly. It was one of the most confusing days of my life.

I don’t repeat the details she already knows, though. I just get to the point.

“Sophia gave me one more chance, Robin. She said I could have her back.”

Robin’s eyes widen and she finally speaks to me. “Then why aren’t you with her?” she wonders.

It’s exactly the question I was asking myself until the day that Robin hit her head and I realized that I love her.

I smile and kiss her hand again. “She gave me a choice. She said that I could have her back as long as I never saw you again.”

Robin’s face twists, and I know that she’s thinking that this makes it more her fault, not less. But I’m not done.

“Don’t do that, sweetheart,” I beg. “Don’t feel guilty. Sophia never really wanted me, and she was insecure. I did love her. I really, really did. I thought we were meant to be. We weren’t, all right? I didn’t understand that until later, but that day, when she asked me to make that choice between her and you, I hesitated, and I had no idea why.”

I step a little closer to her. “I stood there and I thought about it,” I continue. “I thought about my life without her, and what that would look like. And then I thought about my life without you, and what that would look like.”

I touch her hair reverently. Even sad and broken like this, she is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and I’m kicking myself again for taking so long to notice.

“I thought about never dropping by the bakery to see you again. I thought about never seeing you at one of my games again. I thought about never curling up and watching a movie with you again. And those thoughts broke my heart.”

Robin looks at me, still not understanding. So I make it as clear as I can.

“I chose you, Robin. I told Sophia it was over and I chose you.”

Her eyes get wide and her expression softens. “You chose me?” she echoes.

I nod. “I was… conflicted about it,” I admit. “I didn’t understand why I would choose my best friend over the woman I loved. But even as I wondered, I knew it was the right decision. I knew who I couldn’t live without.”

I take her face in my hands and look into her eyes. “I didn’t know I loved you until the night you hit your head,” I confess. “But I’ve always wanted you in my life, Robin. Always. So, please, don’t let your guilt keep us apart. There’s nothing to be guilty about. No matter what Sophia thought, I was faithful to her. Us breaking up is all on me. And you and I both know that what she was asking wasn’t fair, no matter how much I loved her. Someone you love shouldn’t make demands like that.”

I want to kiss her, but I won’t until I know that she’s okay with this. “I was wrong, Robin. About who I loved, and about what love is. I always thought that love was falling, but it’s not. It’s getting caught, and you’ve been catching me since we met. You have never, ever let me down, and I can only ask you to forgive me for how many times I’ve let you down.”

She starts crying again as I press my forehead against hers and feverishly whisper, “You deserve to be happy, Robin. And I want to be the one to make you happy. I know you love me, and you know I love you. Let me give you the life we talked about. Please. Please. I don’t want to live without you.”

A huge smile breaks out on her face. “You chose me,” she repeats. “You chose me, Patrick.”

“I chose you, Robin.”

I exhale in relief as she throws her arms around my neck and kisses me.

**Robin**

I melt into Patrick’s kiss as he picks me up, holding me against him.

I know he’s never going to let me go again, and I’m done running.

He chose me.

He didn’t even know he loved me, but he chose me.

I don’t have to feel guilty anymore. I’m who he wants, no one else.

Patrick finally sets me down, though he doesn’t let go of me.

“All better?” Emma comes up beside me and kisses my cheek.

I nod, giving her a quick hug. “Yes. Thank you.”

“Both of you get out of here,” she orders affectionately. “I’ve gotta get hitched.”

Normally, I’d argue out of politeness, but not today.

Patrick takes my hand and leads me to the truck, lifting me onto the back of it. I tense a little.

“On the back?” I wonder uncertainly.

He smiles, pulling himself up beside me, curling one arm around my waist and hanging onto the truck with the other. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’ve got you,” he promises.

He kisses my cheek and presses his nose against my temple. “I’m taking you out tonight,” he informs me. “Anywhere you want to go, sweetheart. Just tell me where.”

I grab onto him tightly as the truck starts to move. He grins and tugs me closer.

“What if I want to stay in?” I decide. “There’s a game on tonight that I know you want to see.”

He shakes his head. “Game doesn’t matter. You do.”

I beam up at him. “Well, that’s what I want,” I reply lightly. “The game. Pizza. And lots and lots of snuggling.”

“If that’s really what you want, Robin.” He kisses my forehead affectionately.

“That’s what I want, Patrick.” I raise my face to his. “I love you.”

“Oh, honey,” he sighs contentedly, his lips brushing mine. “I love you too.”


	20. Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick and Robin live happily ever after.

_Six Months Later_

**Patrick**

I come into the bakery after the early afternoon rush is over with lunch for Robin. Bonnie waves at me. Emma and her husband Richard are sitting in front of her. We’re all good friends now; they visit the bakery at least twice a week.

A month after Emma’s wedding, Robin and I got married. Everybody was there. The whole firehouse and their families, all of the bakery employees, a ton of Robin’s customers.

She was stunningly gorgeous in her blindingly white dress. The skirt had layers and layers of ruffles that made her look like a walking cupcake, and the top of the strapless bodice was studded with sparkly beading.

I’ll never forget how beautiful she was that day. She never stopped smiling, even when she cried as I recited the vows I’d written myself and promised to love and protect her forever.

We went to Fiji for our honeymoon. We spent two weeks there, walking the nature trails and seeing the sights during the day and making love in our bungalow at night.

We were trying to get her pregnant, but it turns out she already was.

I like to imagine that it happened during our first time. There’s something poetic in that idea, don’t you think?

Bonnie points. Robin is with a customer at the counter.

Her brow is furrowed in concentration. She’s trying to remember something. I grin, unable to help myself.

She’s been incredibly forgetful for the past few months. The doctor says it’s the worst case of baby brain she’s ever seen.

Our house is covered in sticky notes reminding Robin to do things, even though I’ve assured her that I’ve got it all under control.

The doctor says Robin should be fine soon. No one’s sure what causes baby brain, really, but it’s probably the intense hormonal shift from the first to the second trimester.

“I’m so sorry,” Robin finally apologizes in exasperation. “I forgot your name. I know you gave it to me over the phone.”

The woman laughs. “It’s all right,” she comforts Robin. “Baby brain?”

Robin smiles and rubs her growing belly gently. “Yes,” she admits ruefully. “I can’t remember anything lately.”

“It will pass,” the woman soothes her. “I had it real bad with my second. Thank you.” She pats Robin’s hand and holds up her purchase. “And congratulations.”

“Thank you for your business,” Robin answers warmly.

As the customer leaves, Robin looks up and sees me. Her face lights up and then falls as I make my way over to her.

“What did I forget?” she wonders.

I chuckle and shake my head, resting my free hand against her stomach, grinning as I feel our daughter kick. “She’s gonna be a soccer player,” I tease, kissing Robin’s nose. “And you didn’t forget anything. I just wanted to have lunch with my girls.”

Robin looks at me skeptically. “I forgot to make my lunch this morning, didn’t I?”

I chuckle again. “It is absolutely adorable that the only thing you can remember is that you can’t remember anything, sweetheart. Yes, you forgot. But it’s okay. I brought you a turkey and avocado from the deli down the street.”

She blushes and sinks into my arms. “Thank you, Patrick. I love you.”

“I love you too, honey.”

For a moment, I just stand there, holding her close.

I remind myself constantly that I almost lost her. It drives me to love her more and more every day.

Eventually, I murmur, “How’s happily ever after going for you, Robin?”

I know she’s happy, but I never get tired of hearing her tell me.

“It’s better than I ever thought it could be,” she sighs contentedly. “Thank you, Patrick.”

**THE END**


End file.
